Re: Your Rejection Letter
I am writing to inform you of the outcome of your rejection letter.
Unfortunately, in this instance, it was deemed to be unacceptable.
I have received a large number of quality rejection letters vying for my personal humiliation, and with limited ego available for shredding I must assess all rejections competitively.
I therefore regret that I am unable to assist you at this time.
A nameless, faceless, unfunded screenwriter