Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Things Screenwriters HATE... Part 1

The possibilities are endless. Computers that crash. Hard drives that fail. Second acts that need work. Third acts that don't... work *ahem*. Notes that don't make any sense. Notes that don't make any sense contradicting previous notes that did make sense. Filling out funding submission forms... in triplicate. Being rewritten. Being rewritten by someone who uses the notes that make no(n)sense. Loud music in cafes. The even louder babble to counteract the loud music. Being underneath a flightpath (shakes fist skywards). The silent screams of fractured concentration...

Add your 'favourite' [here].

However, the greatest possible infraction for a screenwriter is sending out a script and hearing Nothing. Nada. Crickets.

The doubt. The anxiety. The tension. The paranoia, goddamnit! "They HATE it." "I can't write!" "I'm a fraud!" (Thank you William Goldman for your exhaustive writing on this topic.)

I am trying to be a much more patient "waiter"... using the Zen like calm of one of my directors as inspiration. But I know how awful that sensation is when you don't hear anything back. Okay, it drives me NUTS! (which said director can attest to).

So you would think I wouldn't put my colleagues through such pain. Well, unfortunately, in this regard I must confess - I am Spartacus!

A novel manuscript and a feature film script. Unread. Uncommented. No, not even any notes that make no sense. The shame!

This weekend I will be, amongst other things, reading. For enjoyment, for commentary, for absolution!

Please forgive my sins...

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