Screenwriting 101 or Misadventures in WA Film

2011 - A Year in Rear View

2011-12-21T13:53:00.000+08:00

Well, what a year 2011 turned out to be on the writing front.

It started with a bang when The Red Bride successfully picked up a Feature Navigator grant from ScreenWest. I confess I was somewhat pleased to receive that call. Dancing may have been involved.

Since then there have been, I’m going to say, three to four drafts and many script meetings, discussions, existential crises, false starts, bouts of inspiration, moments of teeth gritting agony… in what is generally known as feature development. It was also an opportunity to work with a top notch script consultant from L.A. in Michael Hauge. Thank goodness for Skype!

There is a full line-by-line script session scheduled with the producers a few days after Christmas which will lock off the script… or 2011’s iteration leastways. It remains the best thing I have written and hopefully next year will see serious market interest.

Speaking of script consultants, 2011 was a year where I was exposed to several other top notch practitioners – from Karel Segers’ seminar on The Hero’s Journey to Paul Chitlik’s intensive five day treatment workshop to Simon van der Borgh’s entertaining (as always) exploration of genre. I love this level of hands on interaction with people who really know their screenwriting lore.

Not only does it keep you sharp on craft skills it actually generates content – there is a 28 page treatment from Paul’s workshop for a feature project that currently has a pitch document sitting with an eastern states production company; and a one page synopsis from Simon’s ‘invitation’ to come up with, over lunch no less, a feature film idea. There is a local producer interested in the subsequent one page synopsis but I simply haven’t had time to do anything further with it… yet. That’s on 2012’s To Do List.

I also had the opportunity to listen to writers such as Andrew Bovell (Lantana, Edge of Darkness), Ron Osborn (The West Wing, Moonlighting) and David Stevens (Oscar nominated for Breaker Morant) share their experiences and insights. Many thanks to the WA Branch of the Australian Writers’ Guild, ScreenWest and the Perth Actors Collective for organising such events.

My focus throughout the year has been predominantly on developing feature projects but I was delighted to be asked to participate in the Professional Partnership Program run by the Filmbites Youth Film School. It has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience which now sees two short film scripts I’ve written about to go into production next month.

Feature development can be a hard slog so the opportunity to work with a talented group of young actors and the genuinely supportive staff has been a revelation. The next few days will see a workshop of one script and a table read of the other. It looks like I will also be invited to rehearsals and the shoots so from that perspective it’s as much a learning experience for me as the ‘students’.

It may have been a contributing factor to me shopping three of my short scripts once a producer released two of them recently. I have had some very interesting people respond and will be meeting with a director after the workshop tomorrow to discuss one of those screenplays. Another director is checking their eligibility for the funding round I have in mind and I’m waiting to hear back from others who have requested scripts.

The end of the year has been incredibly busy. Suddenly I seem to be in demand as people seek me out to work with on a variety of different projects. Of the two directors attached to the Filmbites’ scripts, one has asked me to co-write his feature and the other had already approached me about writing a short that could subsequently be developed into a feature. The former will technically be an adaptation as it’s based on a real life Australian political event but it’s up to others to make announcements about the specifics. Suffice to say there is plenty of reading and research ahead of me over the summer.

I continue to enjoy reading other people’s scripts and offering feedback. I apologise that sometimes it takes me longer than I would like but it is dependent on how swamped I am with writing commitments. I have read some very interesting stories this year from a genre piece set on an oil rig in the North Sea to the debut effort of an actor turned writer to a funky web series aimed at young adults. I find the passion of other writers quite invigorating and discussing scripts is always fun.

One thing I have learnt during the year is that sometimes projects stall despite the best intentions of all involved. Directors withdraw due to unavoidable personal circumstances; priorities may change for producers; projects may simply be past their shelf life; funding bodies may not share your vision. I am always striving to better handle those sorts of disappointments.

Finally, thank you to all my major collaborators and supporters throughout the year – David Revill & Jocelyn Quioc at Tin Can Films (formerly Forgeworks); directors Chris Richards-Scully & Tim Dean; Hallie Mckeig and all the gang at Filmbites; producer Michael Facey; true hyphenate Anna Bennetts; Rikki Lea Bestall at ScreenWest; and all the recent additions to my circle of talented colleagues.

Have a great Christmas and see you all in 2012!

Short film scripts available

2011-12-15T07:50:00.000+08:00

T'is the season for giving. In that spirit, I have three short film scripts that I'm looking for (Perth-based) producers and directors to come on board with. Ideally with Link funding in mind (deadline 29 March 2012) but ultimately to have words on the page turn into moving images on screen by whatever alchemy is available.

Lucky Bamboo: A withdrawn office worker, still traumatised by a random bashing, is given a Lucky Bamboo plant by an older free spirit and told to care for it... or he will die. A story about overcoming your fears and reconnecting with life.

Immortal: As a grieving teenager struggles to deal with her mother's unexpected death from a rare blood disease, she comes to believe she is a vampire leading to tragic consequences.

The Fifth Quarter: Recently retired star footballer Brett Keys is thrust into the cut-throat world of corporate politics where it will take more than his celebrity name to survive.

If you're interested in any of these log lines, please email me on rwhyde3.0@gmail.com for the script(s). If you could also please include some information about yourself and your film-making background.

From there, if you like the script(s), we can haggle over details!

Richard Hyde

Which came first – the script or the audition?

2011-12-09T03:23:00.024+08:00

I had the opportunity to sit in on auditions yesterday for one of the short films I’ve written. I found it most instructive for several reasons.

Firstly, some background:

The script is based on improvisations. It is a nice little ghost story.

The auditions were only for members of the youth film school who conducted the improvisations. In other words, the actors were already familiar with the material.

Two directors had previously been attached – the first, along with his producing partner, withdrew when they remembered they had two funded shorts already in production; the second director ended up getting offers on another continent. Both sets of circumstances outside of my control.

The third (and final!) director – Paul Komadina - had recently approached me to write a short for him (which we will still do) and in those discussions this project came up. We have never worked together though we did go through an online Skype course with an American consultant last year after both being shortlisted for a screenwriting award. Yes, he also writes.

With a new director comes script changes. Also working out storytelling sensibilities and something I bang on about a fair bit, tone.

So we had discussed changes but for the purposes of the audition the two scenes chosen were left unchanged. Mainly because any alterations will be minor (they are the first two scenes of the film and it’s the ending Paul has a deliciously wicked plan for) and the timeframe for the actors to learn new pages would have been pretty tight.

I should also mention, as part of this process, the two male characters felt the writer’s malevolent backspace key and are no more (sorry guys, I was under instructions!).

For the audition Paul asked the actors to learn all four roles. They were auditioned in pairs running the actual scenes then swapping, taking a minute or so to “reset” and come back in. This was done for three pairings.

In effect, for me, it was a mini-workshop knowing that script changes needed to be made. I could see the characters and scenes come to life with differing interpretations from the actors – what worked, what may need to be rethought in the writing, new ways to play those two scenes and what that may mean for subsequent scenes.

Paul’s re-directs were interesting as well, opening up possibilities but also getting an insight into what he’s thinking as we start the process of working out the writer-director relationship. Things like asking an actor to play a scene a certain way that deliberately contradicted what the text suggested was fascinating to observe. Again, especially for tone.

Everything was filmed and it was all very relaxed as the actors were encouraged to try different things and, in many ways, play with the material. I had obviously worked with them before during the improvisation and workshopping phase but they were seeing Paul for the first time. The feedback was that they were impressed, particularly with the clarity of the re-directs.

I have now finished the next draft moving towards Paul’s ideas for the story. That still requires work but it was great to be able to witness the auditions and use them as a jumping off point for the changes required.

It also means things are getting closer to production which is exciting!

Script Readings - Pros and Cons

2011-12-04T10:03:00.001+08:00

My first 'by request' post. A new writer who has finished the third draft (a good sign) of their first feature screenplay asked me to write about the pros and cons of script readings.

My main experience in this regard has been with PAC Script Lab, an initiative I am an ardent supporter of as one of the few writer-centric events in the local film industry. I have written about Script Lab before but let’s do a quick recap of the pros before looking at a few cons:

Profile: The evening puts screenwriters and scripts front and centre, now with local media publicity and a presence in social media. Anything that shines a light on and celebrates the craft of screenwriting is a good thing. Audience numbers are consistently strong with a nice cross section of industry members and the general public.

Support: Never underestimate the impact on a writer who has slaved away on a script for months, fielding the inevitable questions asking what it’s about and explaining their anti-social behaviour (especially when deadlines loom). Having family, friends and colleagues at a reading is good for the writer’s soul! So THAT is what you’ve been doing…

Feedback: This comes in various forms and is absolutely invaluable. Firstly from the actors who are doing the reading. You have a chance to hear the script twice – the initial read through and the evening itself. Actors, being very perceptive creatures, will offer thoughts on their characters and story points.

Script Lab uses feedback forms and asks the audience, in exchange for free wine and nibbles, to fill these out. Questions usually revolve around characters and development of the plot but you can add specific questions if there are certain areas you want to focus on. At my last reading I had about 30 of these forms – makes for very interesting reading, especially when trends appear. One off comments are harder to process.

Then there is the post reading feedback. People will come up and talk to you about the script, ask questions, outline what they enjoyed, what they didn’t. These conversations are perhaps best of all as you get the opportunity to probe for the real reason for ‘negative’ reactions to aspects of the script. By that I mean, people may not like something but not know why.

Intangibles: You get to hear the script AND the audience. At my first reading I was so traumatised I wasn’t relaxed enough to just listen. The second one, I had a producer and director attached so I could chill out, sit up the back, drink my wine and listen. To when people laughed, when they shuffled their feet, when the room went quiet, when actors stumbled over dialogue, when the pace flagged, when the tone shifted, when plot mechanics took over from character etc.

I see now the readings are recorded which didn’t occur when mine were read. That would be fascinating to listen back to – for pace and tone in particular.

While the readings are overwhelmingly a positive experience there are some cons to be mindful of. As Ross Hutchens, one of the original co-founders of PAC, explained to me once, a reading is, in many ways, live theatre. What may work well in that context may not be a good film script and a good script may not work well as a performance piece. For example, for my second script, I was asked to trim the big print to make for an “easier read”. But that was a very visual story.

Very good actors are invariably used and charismatic and engaging “performances” may mask deficiencies, most notably in structure.

You also have people giving feedback who aren’t necessarily conversant with structure and the myriad other aspects of screenwriting. They will have an intuitive feel for story but I’ve seen many a time effusive praise given for poorly structured and badly written scripts that were carried by engaging performances. Of course, the writer has to filter the useful from the irrelevant, the same as any notes. The danger is the inexperienced writer who takes such praise as gospel.

It’s always good to see though, that quite a few of the notable writing talent in Perth regularly attend. I always try to, to support my colleagues but it’s also a good way to keep up your own craft skills by analysing other people’s work.

So, on balance, if you have a script that you believe is at a standard to withstand public scrutiny then I would recommend you organise a reading. Script Lab is one avenue but you always have the option of getting together actors who are prepared to donate their time and do it yourself. The feedback is priceless for the rewrite process.

Thank you!

2011-11-18T23:38:00.001+08:00

Today my humble little screenwriting blog ticked overto 5000 visits and almost 7500 page views according to sitemeter. Other statsshow that it has been read in nearly 70 countries which is pretty amazing.

Thank you to everyone who reads and enjoys my posts. I'malways delighted when people, especially other writers, tell me in person thatthey find my blog a good read.

What more could a writer ask for? :-)

The Initial Impulse or Rediscovering the Passion

2011-11-14T18:34:00.003+08:00

I recently submitted an older script for a funding round after pulling it out of the bottom drawer, doing a quick polish and attaching a new producer. The script - The Tangled Web - has some pedigree. It received an Australian Film Commission New Screenwriter's grant back in 2002, has been optioned twice prior to this now third producer and was well received at a PAC Script Lab reading back in 2007.

Yes, it has been around for a while - thirteen official drafts by my count and no doubt countless more revisions. At one stage, I am told, Sam Worthington was interested pre-Somersault days and an experienced producer was on board as a mentor for the then director-producer.

The story is about a married man who becomes addicted to the fantastical world of the internet and the glamorous people within it while failing to notice his real life world collapse around him.

As you can see in the whiteboard snapshot, the structure was deliberately designed as an upwards trajectory as the addiction takes hold (and things seem to be getting better) then, after the midpoint, a downwards slide into obsession with only the hint of redemption in the resolution. Requiem for a Dream was clearly an inspiration as this always was, at its heart, an addiction story.

Five years ago it might have made an interesting 'cautionary tale' on the social impact of the internet. Now there are many examples, particularly with films like Catfish, Talhotblond and yes, even The Social Network.

What strikes me though, on reading the current draft, is how far it has drifted from my initial impulse for the story. The more drafts, the more development, the less it seems to speak to what I was attempting to say and explore.

Most "internet movies" like Catfish and Talhotblond have as their central "conceit" the implicit understanding that the person you are 'talking to' online could be anyone. That virtual reality and real life is never the same. Witness the "hot girl" inevitably ending up as the tragic figure of the middle-aged woman... or a guy!

In The Tangled Web, in its early incarnation, it was always different. Our hero keeps getting drawn back to the internet (chat rooms in early drafts) because of a beautiful woman in her early thirties (written with Naomi Watts specifically in mind) who he later discovers is exactly the same in real life - superficially gorgeous on the outside. The 'twist' is that she is actually a bitter and angry divorcee who uses the internet as a crutch for her own need for attention and self-worth ie ugly on the inside.

Yes, it will come as no great surprise that this is based on a real life experience, exaggerated for dramatic effect (no, I've never been married nor fired for stalking etc!). About forming an instant connection in an unusual way, about revelling in that, about discovering that beauty is more than skin deep, that the internet is liberating in some ways and destructive in others. All things that fascinated me when I first started to write the script...

At the reading there was one scene that people (mostly) HATED. I mean, they were in my face about. The object of his desire - the perfect woman from the internet, the one he has opened his heart to - is anything but 'perfect' when he goes to her house, uninvited, unwanted in real life. She pours her scorn, her anger, her bitterness onto him... and he lashes out and hits her. I knew it would be controversial but I thought it was the ideal low point and, more importantly, in keeping with both their characters. At least it got a reaction!

Now? The script does not have a 30 something Naomi Watts internet alter-ego. It is an American Beauty like 19 year old. The above scene? Gone. The subsequent drafts went to the more obvious, the more, in a strange way, acceptable? Perhaps that is why my passion for it has waned. I am pretty sure if I read the early drafts there would be a) terrible writing, sure but b) a rawness and honesty there that is now missing.

It's that initial impulse, that spark, no matter what it is or where it comes from that keeps you going. It is also, in many ways, your compass. I think I lost mine with this one a little... okay, maybe a lot. It's a nice reminder for other projects... and this one if I ever decide to go back and "fix it".

Hold onto that spark, that impulse, that thing that made you passionate about wanting to tell the story... and protect it at all costs. Otherwise you'll drift away from it, draft after draft until, in the end, you have a script with no blood. No heart. No chance...

Fabulous West Australian Web Series needs your support - Soulfish

2011-11-07T14:32:00.000+08:00

I think it might have been at my last visit that it was mentioned they were writing a rom-com web series. Movie Extra Webfest seemed to be the perfect fit. I was impressed with a video they had shot for another competition and even though they weren't picked as a finalist (a quite glaring omission) it showed White Frawgz knew what they were doing.

So we come to Soulfish which has a really interesting angle about the transition from "teendom to adulthood" and looking for that special someone. There is an authenticity here that is based on the collective real life experience of the group so the development of the series will be fascinating to watch. They really are a tight knit bunch as their many and increasingly elaborate pranks can attest! When it comes to film-making though they are very savvy and very skilled.

The Link to watch the one minute trailer is: http://apps.facebook.com/mncwebfest/showentry/967434/null/4

Once you have watched, please click "Love It" under the video box.

There is also a facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/SoulfishTheSeries

Soulfish was written by White Frawgz and directed by Jessica Hegarty and Hannah Hugessen and stars Corey Hogan, Jessica Hegarty, Hannah Hugessen, Baden Harris, Zachary Drieberg, Jaymes Durante and Whitney Cooper.
http://youtu.be/txQLYOvQnVI

Fabulous West Australian Web Series needs your support - The Same Paige

2011-11-07T14:31:00.000+08:00

Last year, Henry & Aaron famously won the inaugural Movie Extra Webfest competition and $50,000 to make a 7 part web series. Those episodes air on Foxtel in under a month's time.

This year is a little more complicated for me as there are two local projects that I've had some minor involvement with (script feedback mainly) that I would like to commend for your support.

They are "The Same Paige" by good friend Anna Bennetts and "Soulfish" by a group of talented Filmbites actors under the auspices of their production company White Frawgz.

Anna has read more of my work than any other person I can think of (though there's probably some poor soul, somewhere in a funding agency who enjoys that dubious pleasure!). I have read most of Anna's plays, novels, short stories, screenplays and we always offer each other constructive feedback with the minimum of physical harm inflicted! We collaborated on one short script - "Rigor Mortis" - that was a Finalist in the British Short Screenplay Competition in 2008 (out of something like 1600 entries worldwide) and have a feature screenplay - "Chrysalis" - in stasis as we work separately on other things. Both of these projects are based on Anna's original short stories.

I saw The Same Paige in its original incarnation as a stage play a few years ago. An hilarious production that has also been performed in London and will have a run at The Blue Room next year. It is fertile ground for a punchy comedy web series - about a writer who creates outrageous characters that come to life in her imagination as she deals with her partner, an engineer, who doesn't perhaps appreciate the finer points of what it means to be a writer.

The Link to watch the one minute trailer is: http://apps.facebook.com/mncwebfest/showentry/916242/null/4

Once you have watched, please click "Love It" under the video box.

There is also a facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Same-Paige/301126713231156

The Same Paige was written and directed by Anna Bennetts and features the radiant Summer Williams, Kym Bidstrup and Rosemary McKenna.

It's all in the edit...

2011-10-28T01:09:00.003+08:00

The role of script editor is an interesting one around these here parts. Quite a few people call themselves that or offer their services as such... but my impression is that there are very few truly qualified script editors out there in Australia.

What script editing is not, is rewriting someone's script for them. What it should be is helping the writer realise their vision.

I actually like reading other people's scripts and offering suggestions and giving feedback. I think I'm pretty good at it. One day I should even think about charging for it... especially when I see some of the "script editors" who do.

But for now it's a good way to keep up craft skills - nutting out why something isn't working or how to improve elements of a script is a good skill set to have in your tool box. It's also good karma. Plus you get to talk to other writers and be energised by their passion and their stories. It's one of the main reasons I like PAC Script Lab so much.

The great irony, of course, is that the clarity you bring to someone else's script may be tragically missing when you look at your own work. Something about wood/trees I suspect!

I only have one actual credit as a script editor - for the short film Kanowna. To be fair, my main contribution was to tell that director to stop pestering me and write the damn thing himself. Which, to his merit, he did. All I did was suggest a few rearrangements and the paring back of dialogue. He saw the film so clearly in his head that it was basically a case of capturing those scenes on paper.

Otherwise, I've had producers ask me to read scripts/treatments and/or meet with a writer; there are one or two close friends who will invariably run things past me; and occasionally I am fortunate enough to sit on funding or judging panels.

What I think people may not realise is how much time and attention it takes. I always, Always, ALWAYS read the script wanting to discover a story that captures my imagination, entertains me, takes me to a world I may know nothing about. The analytical side is banished on the initial read through - I want to be dazzled by the magic of the storytelling. Worrying about structure and turning points and character and theme and... and... and... all comes later.

But that means a minimum of two reads...which takes time. You're also thinking about all the elements that make up a good story and assessing (second read onwards) what is working (always important to give positive feedback) and what needs attention (the constructive feedback). Then you generally ask a lot of questions to work out what the writer's vision actually is and compare that to what's on the page

It's all good fun (a relative term for a screenwriter... trust me!) and something I gladly do for people who I respect and have some form or professional relationship with. Paid editing gigs would be nice but money isn't a driving motivation - I guess it's a love of the craft - as corny as that may sound - and helping fellow writers. I know how hard it is to be in the trenches trying to create magic from a blank piece of paper.

That's not to say everything I suggest is adopted - far from it. Some of the best discussions are where the writer gets a better understanding of his/her work through 'strenuous debate' or where a suggestion triggers other ideas.

The only disheartening side is sometimes - not often - you spend that time, you take due care and attention, you offer quality feedback and it's taken for granted. No acknowledgement, sometimes not even a simple thank you. When that happens you shrug, trust in karma and hope you helped make the project better whilst trying not to take the lack of response personally.

Finally, I always treat the writer the way I would want to be treated in the same situation. It can be traumatic putting something you have created out into the world. The only goal must be to put aside ego and make the work better. That can be damn hard but film-making is the most collaborative of mediums and a screenwriter has to be both flexible and develop a thick exterior to weather the inevitable buffeting as the script evolves and gets better. After all, all writing is rewriting...

The Evolution of a Short Screenplay

2011-10-12T20:49:00.004+08:00

I have written two short film scripts for a group of young actors (age 16-20) based on their improvisations and workshops (discussed here and here).

The first script has a strong narrative that was suggested in the source improvisation – what happened before that scene, the given circumstances of the scene itself, and a possible outcome (aided by a separate improv). It’s a nice little script – a ghost story - that still needs some tinkering but I won’t do that until a director comes on board. There is also a discussion about shortening the script to make it a potential Tropfest film.

The second script has been an entirely different beast. Many of the actors expressed an interest in doing a rom-com style short, not my usual genre at all. Many of the improvised scenes were two-handers that dealt with relationship issues in one way or another. So I set about working out how to link these into some sort of coherent narrative that might have something relevant to say about teenage relationships and love.

It quickly dawned on me that this was going to be more of a thematic piece with only a very loose narrative. What would link the two-handers and what would the film be saying?

The answer to the first question came in two parts - location and main character. Now, my favourite writing haunt is a bookshop cafe, a pleasant walk away. A place where all sorts of people meet to catch up and share gossip, news, friendship, business, love. Perfect, location sorted. Which led to the second part - the connective tissue would be the great unsung hero of many a suburban cafe - the cheerful, hardworking waitress.

As for theme, the First Draft deployed a device I rarely use - a voice-over by the waitress as she dispensed coffee and wisdom. The message - you don't choose who you fall in love with. The twist - the waitress is actually the architect of the break-up of one of the couples we see in the two-handers. The actors' reaction - makes her too unlikable though the overall concept was viewed positively. I had also pitched it a little too old.

The Second Draft kept the structure entirely intact - set piece two-handers linked by interaction with the waitress. However, I introduced an element of magic realism - the waitress charged with ensuring that those looking for love in this place found it. But at the expense of her own happiness as the revised voice-over declared.

More feedback was pending but I had the opportunity to go back to the Film School and workshop the draft with the actors. As I wrote on my Facebook screenwriting page: "Spent an excellent evening at Filmbites watching improvisations and a read through before workshopping one of my short scripts with their advanced actors. I love how fearless the actors are, their positive energy, the great suggestions and feedback. Makes my job a lot easier... and fun!"

The result - structure remains unchanged, voice-over is gone, the touches of magic realism dropped with a far more naturalistic feel. What elements of humour that were in the script have also slowly leached out. More 'rom' than 'com' but that seems to suit the material. We actually didn't workshop a new ending which was previously covered by the closing voice-over. So I've had a stab at that in the Third Draft delivered today.

The thing of interest though was this - one of the two-handers is about the imminent breakup of one of the couples. The male character has always come off as the least likable in the story as it's his jealousy that is the catalyst for the difficulties.

Now, there are a lot of big personalities in the group but the actor who was workshopping the role is quieter and harder to read but clearly was uncomfortable with this. Everyone was happy with the revelations coming out of playing with the scenes but that male character was still getting short shrift. I very much liked that the actor stuck up for his character, raised the issue and we tried playing his scenes a few different ways. Hopefully, as a result, I have done far more justice to that role.

I have submitted the subsequent drafts in revision mode so the actors can see how much a script can alter from draft to draft. If I was to hazard a guess, I'd say well over sixty percent each time with this story. To be expected as writer and actors hone in on a shared vision, essential for a thematic piece created in this way.

I look forward to hearing the reaction to the latest draft which should be strong enough now to go out to directors. Once that happens I'm sure there will be more changes but it has been a thoroughly enjoyable experience. I'm confident, at the end of the process, a really strong film emerges!

Slap upside the head

2011-10-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

On Thursday night the Australian drama series The Slap premiered on the ABC to much hype. I was at a function and missed the pilot episode but caught up with it later on iView. I have never read the book. Didn't know much about it. But wanted to give a new Aussie drama a go.

It opens with extreme close ups, slightly out of focus, of a young woman smoking. Faded in and out of 'to black' which was mildly annoying until Cut To:

An older man waking up in bed to the sound of children's voices in the background... then a woman's voice, undoubtedly his wife.

Okay, got it! He's married. He's dreaming about an as yet unknown (to us) young woman. He has kids. Nice set-up, economically done, with the prospect of conflict on any number of levels.

All shown VISUALLY. Nicely done.

Then THIS happens in voice-over:

"On the day before his fortieth birthday, Hector awoke with one thing in mind - Connie. For a moment he luxuriated in the memory of her... but then he made his resolve... to sort things out."

We SEE him thinking about the dream. We have SEEN that dream, what was on his mind. Why is someone telling me EXACTLY what I can see on screen? Who is this third person narrator - God? The neighbour? The guy in the surveillance van manning the webcam? And who the hell uses words like 'luxuriated' and phrases like 'made his resolve'? I assume they are lifted from the book???

It is such TERRIBLE writing! Why? Because it treats me, the viewer, as if I was a moron. After showing me all this visually, the writer decides he has to make sure I get it with a clunky, disembodied voice. If all the voice-over does is tell you what you can already see it is REDUNDANT. This is why I think Underbelly is so poorly written - the damn cricket bat to the head voice-over.

Please, Please, PLEASE - have faith in your material; have faith in the audience; have faith in your actors who can communicate more with a look than paragraphs of tacky voice-over ever can.

It took me out of the story within the first two minutes. I lost faith in the writer in that moment. I watched maybe 2-3 more minutes then tabled it to do other things. Yes, I will go back and watch the full episode. But I thought it was an instructive example of how a contrived writers' device can kill a scene or set-up.

What do you think?

The "Re" Factor - An analogy (and quick rant)

2011-09-17T14:48:00.000+08:00

Yes, remakes, reboots and re-imaginings. The bane of Hollywood at the moment. For example, how many Super & Spider Men do I need in my cinematic world? Problem is, audiences flock to go see them. I struggle to understand why...

Then I noticed a certain phenomena on Facebook: status updates that are cut and pastes from various comedy websites - without quotation marks or attribution (writers have a word for that but let's not go there) - thereby appearing to be the poster's own creation. Which is met with much acclaim and adulation. Oh, how hilarious the poster is! How witty! Likes and comments up the wazoo.

Zero creativity for maximum response.

I used to be notorious (until most of my offending friends took the hint) for berating people who forwarded recycled crap off the internet to my personal email. "Dazzle me with your own wit and brilliance" used to be my plea! I guess none of my friends' surnames end in Christopher Nolan.

Social Media appears to have increased the practice exponentially. But can you blame the poster? They get the response they want with minimum effort.

Isn't that what the big Hollywood studios are doing? Recycling old product in a slightly different guise? Of course they'll keep doing it if people keep paying their hard earned over the counter. Same as hitting that "Like" button. Why go to the trouble (and expense) of creating something new and original?

Drives me nuts as someone who tries to create new and original content (in both mediums) but it seems to be the way of the world these days - the quick, easy fix.

Rant over as I type '"today's funniest jokes" into the google machine...

Mojo Risin' *

2011-09-15T23:33:00.001+08:00

It would be fair to say I was struggling there for a while with the rewrite of my main feature script. Too many voices in my head, a loss of confidence in my writing ability and, as a result, I was procrastinating like crazy. Not good with a deadline approaching.

Thank goodness then that the fog has lifted and I am back in the zone.

How?

Well, let me explain by taking a little trip into time and outer space. Specifically, April 14, 1970 on the way to the Moon. Yes, the day astronaut Jim Lovell announced to the world that Apollo 13 indeed had a problem. Beautifully dramatised by Ron Howard in the movie of the same name. In Mission Control, chaos erupts as the controllers struggle to comprehend the enormity of what the data is telling them. Lead Flight Director Gene Kranz (played by Ed Harris) then utters the line I most relate to when the proverbial hits the fan:

Let's look at this thing from a... um, from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the spacecraft that's good?

Substitute the word 'script' for 'spacecraft' and you have the catalyst for my change in mindset. Instead of focusing on everything that was "wrong" with the script, I went back and looked at what was working. Sure, there are things that need a fixin' but there's also a lot of really, really good stuff. Funny how you forget that when your confidence is somewhat battered.

Instead of reinventing the wheel it becomes an exercise in problem solving. Once I flipped perspective from a negative bias to a positive one everything was suddenly freed up and the keys started a clackin'. I had my writing mojo back!

So when things explode, the data (notes) overwhelm you and the script is flirting with "Gimbal lock" remember to ask - what do you got in the script that's good?!

* Apologies to Jim Morrison

“Talk about your habit for a second.”

2011-09-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

I am forever surprised at the range of responses Jeff Goldsmith (formerly Creative Screenwriting Magazine, now the Q&A) elicits from professional screenwriters about their writing habits. Everything from highly structured schedules to quirky, interstate email partnerships to exquisite forms of procrastination.

I fall into the latter camp (good to know I’m not alone!).

Someone said to me once the difference between a novelist and a dramatist (screenwriter, playwright) is that a novelist has a burning desire to tell their story and MUST write whereas a dramatist has to be dragged kicking and screaming to the keyboard with imminent disaster looming.

In this a deadline helps.

Which is where I’m at now – having procrastinated my way into a position where the only option is to write like crazy to meet a deadline. It’s amazing how it gets the creative juices flowing.

There must be an easier way but that just seems to be how it is. Somehow I still manage to be productive but it’s a helluva rollercoaster to take. When I write, when I’m in that zone, I’m fine.

Getting there is the battle for me.

I know, people say tackle the blank page every day until it becomes second nature, until the ‘fear’ subsides. I admire the people who can do that, write for a set time every single day. Not built that way.

So now I have to fly. Which means locking everybody out for the next three weeks and retreating into my head. I don’t know what’s scarier – the isolation of it all or the fact that I might enjoy staying in that space far too much.

I do know I have to banish all the other voices in my head - the doubt, the confusion, the panic, the notes, the theory. And just write. It ain’t glamorous… but that’s what you sign up for as a screenwriter.

Therefore please don’t be offended if you don’t hear from me for a while; or get a witty Facebook response; or a timely email reply; even a new blog post. I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing – turning blank pages into a visual story, a form of alchemy that is elusive, frustrating, amazing and ultimately rewarding in ways that are hard to explain.

The priority has to be the work. From that everything else springs. Talent gravitates towards talent and if the scripts are good then all the gifted people that are needed to make them come to life will follow – the actors, producers, directors, and all manner of craftspeople along with the creative and financial support required to make a movie.

That is the only magic I have to offer – words. Best make them count…

One Year Ago

2011-08-27T10:14:00.002+08:00

Today is the first anniversary of my involuntary redundancy from a company I worked at for a combined 21 years.

A day I still have mixed feelings about.

Loss of a decent wage, some semblance of security and maybe, if I was being honest, a sense of self-worth.

On the positive side, the ability to be debt free and time rich.

I have not worked a regular job since, living off my modest redundancy payout and writing. The time when that will need to change draws inexorably nearer. I suspect that nagging feeling I am experiencing is dread.

So today will be one of reflection. This afternoon I am going to see a play - a comedy - I hope the laughter takes my mind off other things.

Last year when told I was no longer required due to cutbacks of nine hundred people in a big national company I went to see Inception. May the right side of my brain continue to conquer the left in such matters.

Tomorrow will be a new day in more ways than one...

The Invisible Man

2011-08-26T17:30:00.000+08:00

This caught my eye in a report today about Matthew Newton's troubles in getting back into show business:

Others [high profile agents] conceded the only role Newton could attempt is behind-the-scenes, such as scriptwriting.

"I don't think anyone wants to actually see him - he needs to be invisible," they said.

The revelation that agents apparently talk in unison aside, the fact that scriptwriting is considered the equivalent of being invisible made me laugh.

In my case it's virtually true - no more Facebook, no more Twitter, no more Google+, no more online distractions (well, other than this blog).

As Darryl Kerrigan from The Castle might ask, "how's the serenity?"

Script Cops

2011-08-17T20:26:00.000+08:00

These short skits on the Final Draft YouTube channel are hilarious. My favourite is the McKee Sting:

No Hyphens Here

2011-08-11T18:21:00.000+08:00

"I'm just a writer."

I normally tell people off for saying that, especially myself - there's no "just" about it. However, we're seemingly a rare breed in Australia. The norm appears to be to collect as many hyphens as possible - writer/director being the most notable. Of course, the collective noun for a swag of hyphens is "auteur" but that's a discussion for another time.

The reality - sheeted home again today - of being "just a writer" is that you can't get a film made by yourself, not even a short film. I never went to film school, have "directed" a sum total of two scenes for a workshop 6 years ago, don't even own a video camera. So I need a director... otherwise it's "just" words on a page.

Unfortunately I've had two short film projects on the precipice this year only to be scuppered when key creative collaborators withdrew. So there's a really nice short script that missed FTI's last funding round sitting in a drawer until next year; and another script that now has to find a new home before it can get made. Why the withdrawals? Personal reasons, scheduling conflicts; issues outside my control.

The disappointment is magnified when I see colleagues being congratulated for successfully navigating the highly competitive funding rounds or having their shorts selected in festivals. You have to "be in it to win it" as I always say but I can't even make it to the starting line lately!

My main focus is feature scripts but I'd like to think anything I devote time to writing has some chance of being seen by an audience otherwise what's the point?

I don't have time to dwell on it as the ticking clock of a deadline grows louder by the day. It's a reality of being a screenwriter... still doesn't mean you don't feel gutted when you have to open that metaphorical bottom drawer and banish another of your creations...

A Screenwriter's Life Support

2011-08-03T21:51:00.000+08:00

Pretty much any science fiction series ever made will have the obligatory "life support" scene where our intrepid heroes slowly asphyxiate as oxygen/gravity/sanity slowly ebbs away. They are usually saved at the last minute by some clever spark reversing the polarity on something or other and tweaking the [insert techno-babble here].

Well, screenwriters are just as reliant on "life support" to make it through to the end credits. If you don't have it you may as well be standing next to James T. wearing a red shirt because man, you're toast. I'm not talking about anything that requires anti-matter, dilithium crystals or even a flux capacitor, rather the support of people who have faith in your ability. People who understand. People who care.

Let's face it, the fun part of writing is the raucous story sessions; off-the-wall brainstorming; discussing/debating/arguing beats or characters or any number of details with key creative collaborators. For me that would be the directors and producers I work with, and occasionally actors. I have never had a writing partner as such but I'm sure it's a similar situation. The ability to bounce ideas off others.

At the end of all that spitballin' you have to lock yourself away and write. And that is HARD. So when you're stuck, writing poorly, tearing your hair out, lost in rewrites or simply battling a killer deadline any support is absolutely crucial. A few things lately have made me realise this even more...

I had a meeting on Sunday with my producers on the supernatural thriller script, the one where my head is fogged with so many possibilities as I approach the next draft. People like different things from different drafts but I've not quite nailed it yet. Not only did they tell me there was potential interest from the film market associated with the Melbourne International Film Festival, but they were backing me in to deliver the next draft in an insanely tight time frame (a little over two and a half weeks)... Faith.

Recently another writer at a function asked me how that script was going and understood exactly what I was going through. Amazing what an empathetic ear and the offer of a chat over coffee can do for your spirits.

Today I had a Skype session with a director I'm working with on another project. The banter flies pretty thick and fast, bordering on outright sledging but that has its own humour and connection. I wanted to finalise a damn infernal three page synopsis for a feature idea so I could disappear to work on the above rewrite. He took this in good spirits and we discussed next steps in our collaboration once I come up for air. The humour picks the spirits up and the preparedness to wait is an unspoken form of support and encouragement.

Then, unexpectedly, a writer-director rang me this afternoon to discuss the two short scripts I have written for Filmbites. He was working with the actors this evening on rehearsal techniques and wanted to know if there was anything I wanted mentioned re the pieces, especially in regard to theme. I thought this was a great professional courtesy to extend. We also ended up talking about our feature projects, the both of us on similar development paths.

Then there's my friend, also a writer, who always tells me when I need to extricate my head from my proverbial; a writer-director who patiently listened to my rant a couple of weeks ago at my local writing haunt; and a few others who act as safety valves, wise counsel and inspiration. Small in number, huge in impact and utterly invaluable.

Stephen King talks about the "ideal reader" in his excellent book On Writing but I would contend that sometimes you need the "ideal listener" to help you through the dark days of unfilled pages and unrealised drafts. I don't know where I would be without them...

This will be my last post for a while - time to go reward everybody's faith, understanding and support with some hard work and creativity. See you in a couple of weeks!

In Conversation with David Stevens

2011-07-25T00:28:00.001+08:00

This afternoon I had the absolute pleasure of listening to Oscar nominated screenwriter David Stevens talk for a couple of hours at the Subiaco Arts Centre. David, who is also a director, playwright and novelist, is in Perth for a reading of his new play The Beast and the Beauty this Wednesday.

If today's prelude, organised under the Association of Screen Professionals banner, is anything to go by then we're in for a corker of a read. David is a consummate storyteller and today's topic, loosely "How to make it in Hollywood", lent itself to a funny, entertaining and eye-opening session.

This is a man who wrote Breaker Morant (nominated for a screenwriting Oscar, 1981); the play and subsequent script for The Sum of Us; the mini-series and novel (with Alex Halley) Queen; and the mini-series Merlin among many others. I think you would agree, a substantial talent.

He was very generous with his time (and brutally honest anecdotes) so it didn't take much prompting to hear more about his experiences with Alex Halley (Roots), the Hollywood studio system, Dustin Hoffman, the Oscars experience, and how his play The Sum Of Us has still never been performed in Melbourne.

One of the key messages from the talk, for me, was David's belief that a story idea will have an optimal form - be it a screenplay, a play, novel etc and it's the writer's job to figure out what that form is. That's not to say an idea can't work in other formats but there will be a perfect way to "cut the diamond".

Interestingly, there is a play and screenplay version of The Beast and the Beauty and part of Wednesday's reading is to gain feedback on what its best format might be. I can fully understand this - feedback from a synopsis I sent out during the week is that the story might play better as a mini-series rather than a feature script.

Thank you to Annie Murtagh-Monks for organising the talk and upcoming reading; Mark DeFriest, the director of TB&TB, who had the easiest moderating job I can remember (after a pithy intro he wisely let the man talk!); and David Stevens for the fabulous stories and resultant discussion.

I strongly recommend you get down to the Subiaco Arts Centre Wednesday evening to hear the reading of David's latest work!

Update aka The Long and the Short of It, Part 2

2011-07-19T14:14:00.000+08:00

Part One of the update was the short of it so Part Two is indeed the long. In this instalment I was contemplating discussion of my features via interpretative dance but the blog format seems far too restrictive! You'll just have to use your imagination...

ScreenWest knocked back my conspiracy thriller The Pilbara Imperative for a third time. TPI is a story about illegal uranium mining, radical environmental groups, secret deals between big business and the government, the involvement of foreign powers and a secret hidden in the Pilbara that is worth killing for. Think Edge of Darkness meets Syriana with a dash of State of Play thrown in for good measure.

Far from being defeated, I have written a three pager for the director's manager to shop around with a 27 page treatment also available. If there are any nibbles I'll write the next draft of the script which is a reworking of an older idea (In Total Unity) that was set on the docks involving a militant union. I also put a submission in for the Kit Denton Disfellowship but I'm not holding my breath over that.

I reactivated an older script The Tangled Web which has previously been optioned twice and was close to getting somewhere when Sam Worthington was nominally attached way back when (also known as before he did Avatar and became huge). I've given it a new coat of paint and sent it to a couple of producers to see if there's any current interest. This is my internet addiction tale where cyberspace is represented visually as a parallel hyper-reality. No typing away on keyboards for this baby.

The creative team for my supernatural thriller The Red Bride met on Sunday and one of the producers is going to MIFF 37 South Market in Melbourne this week. A new log line and synopsis were requested and duly delivered. We also discussed the direction of the next draft, interestingly by looking at an older version of the story. I've had three sessions with Michael Hauge which have been very useful but now it's time to knuckle down and churn out a new draft. We're real close but the last 5-10% seems to be the hardest.

I recently lamented the amount of time I've been spending writing synopses and treatments and log lines and beat sheets and supporting notes and so on and so forth [insert silent scream here]. Enough with Word documents! Back to the warm embrace of Final Draft I say. You would have even noticed an infiltration of blog posts in pseudo script format like Part One. A tell-tale sign.

Further to that though, I started writing a low budget horror free-form without outlines and beat sheets and the like. Dangerous? Perhaps. But I wrote 16 scripted pages in two days and it felt really comfortable. Want to knock out a draft quickly and see what I have. This is the cut down version (boy, is that an understatement) of a story the local Development Manager at ScreenWest says is a $100-120 million studio film. I'm learning!

Then there's the idea that came out of the last Simon van der Borgh workshop that I need to flesh out. As well as another idea I've been brainstorming with the TPI director - again, low budget, contained, and a thriller.

So there's plenty of ideas buzzing between the ears - now all I have to do is write them down...

What are you working on? How's it going? How much outlining do you undertake before writing the first draft of a script? How do you tackle rewrites?

The prosecution rests :-)

Update aka The Long and the Short of It, Part 1

2011-07-18T19:44:00.000+08:00

Screenwriting is, of course, a very glamorous occupation where you get to party with fabulously talented actors, hang out with visionary directors and be wooed by humble and respectful producers. Then there's the late night chat show circuit, the yacht at Cannes and the huge royalty cheques in the mail. Just as well those high concept scripts write themselves... I mean, when would you find the time? To sit for hours on end... by yourself... writing and rewriting and rewriting some more. Sounds awful.

Ah, it's a pleasant fantasy. So, what the hell, let's continue with it:

CHAT SHOW HOST: So Richard, what's been happening since you were here last?

ME: You want the long or the short of it?

CHS: Do we need the seven second delay again?

ME: Settle down.

CHS: I'm saying, this is a family show.

ME: Since when?

CHS: Okay, it's not but last time you were here you dumped all over the funding bodies.

ME: No, that was Burleigh.

CHS: Told a film critic to *beep* off.

ME: That was Jimmy.

CHS: Recounted the last time you were *beeped* with your pants on.

ME: Okay, I'll give you that one, that was definitely me.

CHS: Any good news?

ME: Well, I had to shelve a short film script.

CHS: That's good?

ME: No, that's terrible.

CHS: What happened?

ME: I had a director all lined up. Wasn't eligible for funding. Found another director who may have been. Then a producer came on board who could have been.

CHS: Should have all been fine then...

ME: Yeah, except director number two pulled out.

CHS: Prematurely?

ME: I thought you said this was a family show?

CHS: I lied.

ME: The script was sent out to a couple more directors who liked it but said they didn't connect with it.

CHS: What does that mean?

ME: They didn't know how to tell the producer they thought it was *beeeeeeeep*

CHS: Is it?

ME: No, not at all. But there were no takers before the deadline so now it sits gathering dust on my computer.

CHS: You really should dust your computer regularly. I'm serious. Plays havoc with the fan which overheats the hard drive which causes--

ME: It's in a drawer.

CHS: On your computer?

ME: Anyway, there's another short script.

CHS: How's this one going?

ME: Yeah, really good. It's a result of this and some of this.

CHS: You workshopped the idea with actors?

ME: No, the idea came out of improvised scenes performed by the actors.

CHS: That's a bit pedantic, isn't it?

ME: So sue me, I'm a writer.

CHS: Big royalty cheques?

ME: *Beep* you!

CHS: Okay, you write this script from various improvised scenes...

ME: Then the actors workshop the draft.

CHS: And make changes?

ME: Sure.

CHS: That doesn't make your head explode?

ME: They didn't scribble all over it in crayon.

CHS: Still...

ME: I had a couple of quibbles but they didn't change the structure. Not at all. So I was fine with it.

CHS: That's very mature of you.

ME: Thank you. They even added an extra twist.

CHS: The butler did it?

ME: No, the uncle. But that wasn't the twist.

CHS: What was the twist?

ME: You'll have to sleep on it.

CHS: Was that an in-joke?

ME: You bet!

CHS: What happens now?

ME: You show clips of my past films and the audience applauds?

CHS: No, I meant with this script.

ME: I sent it to a director I work with.

CHS: Eligible?

ME: Not since the last time I checked.

CHS: It's the same director from the other script?

ME: The one in the drawer?

CHS: Yes.

ME: He has, in fact, agreed to direct it.

CHS: What about government funding?

ME: Don't need it. Why? One word... co-production.

CHS: Is that really one word?

ME: Now who's being pedantic?

CHS: It is my show.

ME: Granted. But these two parties, here and here, are going to make this little baby come to life.

CHS: It's currently a dead baby?

ME: I was talking metaphorically.

CHS: Sounds like it's literally a done deal.

ME: Apparently they met today.

CHS: How'd that go?

ME: How would I know? I'm only the writer.

CHS: I'm out of questions.

ME: Just as well. I was starting to think you were some sort of clunky writer's device.

CHS: Thought it would make a nice change around here.

ME: Okay, now it sounds like you're simply parroting the thoughts of the writer.

CHS: Is that so bad?

ME: Say goodnight Richard.

CHS: Good night, Richard.

JG: And that's how the Q&A went down. Remember to hit the subscribe button on iTunes and--

ME: That's enough inside references, Jeff. Okay?

To be continued...

More Shout Outs - Perth Film Industry

2011-07-05T19:17:00.000+08:00

While I'm handing out kudos to local film-makers, here's a few more:

Director Chris Richards-Scully has set up a Vimeo page with videos of his short films here. Check out the diverse range of genres and subject matter with faces not often seen in Australian cinema prominent.

Kanowna (short film) - Teaser trailer from Chris Richards-Scully on Vimeo.

For bi-monthly readings of local feature scripts join the Perth Actors Collective Facebook page. Next reading is on 27 July featuring a new play by David Stevens, writer of Breaker Morant and The Sum of Us, and directed by Mark DeFriest.

Speaking of Mark, I caught up with him at the second Actors Lounge Dinner which is an initiative under the Perth Film Network banner. I have attended the first two and they are far more intimate affairs than the general networking nights. Gives you a great opportunity to talk at length to other people in the film industry, mainly actors but not exclusively so. The venues, meals and price have also been very good so a fun evening. Check out the Facebook page here for more details.

Finally, for younger actors, check out the Filmbites website for details of their courses for different age groups.

(While you're busy clicking 'like' on Facebook, my page is here.)

Have fun networking and being inspired to be creative!

Western Australian Web Series Needs Your Support, Part 2

2011-07-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

Back in December I posted about Perth film-makers Henry Inglis and Aaron McCann being finalists in Movie Extra Webfest. Well, they went on to win the competition and $50,000 to make a 7x7 minute web series. The result is Henry & Aaron's 7 Steps to Superstardom. The boys have really started to hit their stride with episode 3 - Get Your Brand Out There.

So check out their YouTube channel here for the whole series, released weekly every Tuesday.

A Paranoia of Screenwriters

2011-06-13T21:21:00.001+08:00

I don't know if there is a collective noun for a group of screenwriters but if there isn't can I proffer 'A Paranoia of Screenwriters'?

Because (as every right thinking, decent, hard-working screenwriter knows) everybody is out to steal their ideas, screw them Toby Ziegler style with their pants on, and generally suck on the marrow of their creative genius like some vampiric nemesis writ large.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating... a little. I have come across those people and I am sure you have too. You just roll your eyes and head straight for the free wine.

So it was refreshing for two days to a) be in the presence of the redoubtable Simon van der Borgh who conducted his Genre Workshop in typical entertaining style and b) hear approximately 20 feature stories ideas as a result of Simon's devilishly simple writing exercises.

To those of you mailing copies of your scripts to yourself by registered post, yes I was recording every pitch on the iPhone 4 I don't have and I've been busily transcribing your genius as we, um, 'speak'.

Seriously though, I LOVE these sorts of workshops precisely because they are all about stories and creativity. Spending a couple of days discussing the history of genre, genre types and conventions, audience expectations, referencing films and watching clips, discussing character and story rather than templates. All brilliant stuff. And highly interactive.

It's always interesting listening to other people's story ideas and we had a wide range from horror, to supernatural, to a rom-com, action-adventures, family dramas, social justice, epic fantasy... and my little science fiction horror. You also get the benefit of feedback and thoughts from Simon and your screenwriting brethren which helps gauge if the story has potential.

Plus one key message that emerged from the workshop - the consistency of TONE. The knock on a lot of Australian films being that because they don't know what genre they want to be their tone is all over the place which alienates audiences as expectations are not met.

So thank you to Simon and kudos to all the talent in the room who contributed to making it an enjoyable and productive couple of days. Let's see how many of these ideas make it to the page and hopefully further...

Just don't tell anybody a group of screenwriters gathered together in the one place and freely gave of their time and ideas... we have a reputation to uphold!

What's It All About? aka Theme

2011-06-02T15:13:00.002+08:00

Part 2 of the Professional Partnership Program with Filmbites last night and the evening was structured around THEME.

Through discussion of last week's improvised scenes; the (film school) director's suggestion of themes (such as "seize the day"); and reference to films like The Graduate and Dead Poet's Society, the group started to explore what resonates with them in their daily lives.

Many personal recollections and experiences were raised which is great fodder for a writer as it brings authenticity and emotion. It also helps me clue into the issue of relevance as I am of a different generation so my concerns and frames of reference of how the world works aren't necessarily the same. But talking thematically is a great way to bridge any real or perceived generation gap.

The actors did some warm-up exercises then we split into two groups with each writer working with 3-4 actors to do a mind-mapping exercise or what I would call brainstorming. The two strands that emerged from this were "sacrifice" and "epiphany". We swapped over and continued to explore what those themes meant and possible scenarios that could be utilised. It was also an opportunity for me to share some of my real life background, especially in regard to my "light bulb" moment (that led me to resigning from my corporate job in Sydney to come home to become a writer).

The actors were given time to come up with scenes based on either of the two themes and then present. Again, the results were very interesting - a woman waiting for her boyfriend at a restaurant on the night of their anniversary discovering she has more in common with the waitress; a sister discovering that she was adopted and deciding to leave to find her real family to the horror and anger of her brother and younger sister; and a delightfully gruesome scenario that took a literal look at sacrifice involving a pot, a baby and ingredients such as eye of newt!

Next up the writers gave one scenario each that the actors improvised leading to, from my colleague's suggestion, a very nuanced scene between male and female friends where one would like to be more. There was an honesty here that was compelling and during the debrief was considered something worth pursuing - that moment when something changes between two people and the domino effect of that change.

So it appears Romance and Epiphany might be on the mind!

But there is still that great scene from last week based on the key word "Darkness" that keeps beckoning.

Time for me to brainstorm the way I do best - I feel a rough draft coming on...

Things Screenwriters HATE... Part 1

2011-05-31T11:45:00.001+08:00

The possibilities are endless. Computers that crash. Hard drives that fail. Second acts that need work. Third acts that don't... work *ahem*. Notes that don't make any sense. Notes that don't make any sense contradicting previous notes that did make sense. Filling out funding submission forms... in triplicate. Being rewritten. Being rewritten by someone who uses the notes that make no(n)sense. Loud music in cafes. The even louder babble to counteract the loud music. Being underneath a flightpath (shakes fist skywards). The silent screams of fractured concentration...

Add your 'favourite' [here].

However, the greatest possible infraction for a screenwriter is sending out a script and hearing Nothing. Nada. Crickets.

The doubt. The anxiety. The tension. The paranoia, goddamnit! "They HATE it." "I can't write!" "I'm a fraud!" (Thank you William Goldman for your exhaustive writing on this topic.)

I am trying to be a much more patient "waiter"... using the Zen like calm of one of my directors as inspiration. But I know how awful that sensation is when you don't hear anything back. Okay, it drives me NUTS! (which said director can attest to).

So you would think I wouldn't put my colleagues through such pain. Well, unfortunately, in this regard I must confess - I am Spartacus!

A novel manuscript and a feature film script. Unread. Uncommented. No, not even any notes that make no sense. The shame!

This weekend I will be, amongst other things, reading. For enjoyment, for commentary, for absolution!

Please forgive my sins...

A cold hard truth

2011-05-31T01:06:00.000+08:00

Today was one of meetings and writing interrupted by news that a funding submission had not been successful. While waiting for a producer to arrive for the last of my meetings I wrote the following the old fashioned way with pen and notebook. On re-reading my scrawl it struck me as solely a reflection of my mood at that specific time which was despondent and lachrymose. I was going to disregard it but a certain truth is captured that is perhaps important to acknowledge.

So here it is transcribed and unedited. I apologise in advance for what Sam Seaborn might call the bad "poetry."

It's a cold hard truth. The scope of my imagination is not compatible with the limit of what's achievable in the current Australian film scene.

The big conspiracy thriller - on life support.
The even bigger supernatural war film - stillborn.
Big budget science fiction... in Australia? Don't make me laugh.

Too big, too complex, too unbelievable.
Time to go back to the drawing board.
Simpler, less ambitious, smaller.

Time is running out - my ill-gotten corporate payout whittling away.

A reboot is in order... or just a boot up the backside.

The writer's eternal dilemma - what's the killer idea with the irresistable (sic) hook, mass audience appeal, but achievable on a realistic budget?

Thinking cap on...

I forgot to add - it was a good day of meetings and writing. One moment, one decision, one setback can't change that or any of the many other good days.

Something to always remember.

Another form of story generation

2011-05-26T16:17:00.002+08:00

Last night I was invited to participate in Filmbites Youth Film School's Professional Partnership Program. This is where advanced actors work with screenwriters to develop short film scripts to be filmed at a later date pending funding. It was great to be asked and it was a friendly, supportive atmosphere in a cool little space in Wangara.

There were, as advertised, ten talented actors who were all incredibly positive and receptive as was the school's director. This was the first night of two scheduled workshops where scenarios, characters and themes are created through improvisation and scene work leading to a cohesive, self-contained narrative (well, hopefully!).

I've touched on where stories come from, for me, before and this was a different and unusual approach. The actors did some warm up exercises using techniques I wasn't overly familiar with - space jumps and the like. They then presented improvised scenes they had prepared beforehand (a concept my fellow writer and I pondered) before it was our turn to introduce some elements.

Now, my head is in rewrites and other scripts so I had no preconceived ideas about what sort of story I was looking to tell. I wanted to stay open to all possibilities and the collaborative nature of the process. We had, however, been asked to prepare some key words, character types and possible themes. So I had spent some time in my favourite writing haunt typing up lists of a semi-random nature.

For example, the first exercise was an improvisation based on any of three key words provided by each writer. Mine were 'deception', 'chaos' and 'haunted'. The other three words supplied were 'darkness', 'rejection' and 'potato' (cauliflower managed to wangle its way in here somehow as well - yes, there was a clear vegetable subtext going on). The actors indicated what word they would like to tackle and had ten minutes to improvise a scene which the writers then observed. We could also sit with them during their brainstorming phase and offer suggestions.

Next was character types. Same deal - actors to pick from the list nominated by the writers, spend ten minutes preparing (and eating pizza, an invaluable component of any creative enterprise) then play the scene. These were being filmed and I believe the writers will get to review all the scenes at some stage. Of my suggestions 'unstable office worker' was the clear favourite. Which makes me proud that my late, lamented corporate career has proven so useful!

Some really interesting elements came out of these scenes with a combination of powerful and charming performances. I should also mention the actors, on introducing themselves, nominated the type of roles they wanted to play. Some were tired of being 'nice' characters and wanted darker and meatier roles; others were nearly the exact opposite wanting more 'romantic' or nicer roles.

After each block of scenes there was general discussion and feedback. Again, positive and supportive.

Out of all this sensory input and pages of notes (mainly dialogue grabs) my screenwriting brain has started to whir away. Is it possible to link any of these scenes to create a self-contained narrative? How to involve as many actors as possible given the ensemble nature of the project and satisfy their role preferences? What themes or scenarios are evident?

The answer?

You'll just have to wait for Week 2!

Stories closer to home

2011-05-23T21:11:00.003+08:00

A common question for writers is "where do you get your stories from?" Not so easy to answer. For me, I usually "see" a scene in my mind's eye and if I keep seeing it I try and work out what it means. From that a whole script may grow. Pretty abstract, hey?

Sure, I've been known to cut out stories from the newspaper (it's like an iPad but without silicon); jot things down in note books; 'borrow' snippets of conversation etc but there's no more powerful stimulus than a visual image or indeed entire scene playing out in your head.

They say, "write what you know" and maybe part of that is the subconscious sense of who you are and where you come from. I mention this as I had lunch down at my parents place on Friday and Dad gave me two CDs (insert iPod gag here) of two interviews he had given to a local historian. This was as part of the Oral History Program for the Cottesloe Library. All up, two hours and twenty minutes of him talking about everything from his childhood to the local neighbourhood to the jobs he has held.

Now a lot of this I have heard in one form or another but Dad is nothing if not garrulous and the interviewer was drawing out all sorts of tales, particularly when he was a child. How there was a heavy teak table covered with drapes, rations stored underneath, that was to be used as a rudimentary shelter in the advent of an air raid during the Second World War. How there used to be a brothel in the street at number 19 but the taxis would sometimes drop off American soldiers at number 9 which is where his future wife (aka mum) lived with her older sisters which caused all sorts of problems.

I knew he had worked at the Civic Centre but did not know he was there when the Duke of Edinburgh (Prince Philip) was in Perth for the Empire Games in 1962. He also heard the machinations of the vote for the awarding of the 1966 Games to Kingston, Jamaica. And so on. What it was like growing up during those times, working on a farm in Wickepin, how the owners of a store in Cottesloe where my grandmother used to work swear they saw her ghost and described her perfectly. How he chased off who he is sure was Eric Edgar Cooke when they lived in Claremont.

I'm only half way through but it's fascinating and comforting in a way to be able to hear all this. His story. Told with typical understated humour and occasional mischievousness. I'm not at the part yet where I arrive on the scene so that could make for interesting listening. As will mum and dad's wedding which flirted with all sorts of sitcom-esque type disasters (but all's well that ends well). And undoubtedly stories I have not heard before.

Just maybe all this might provide a clue to where I get my stories from...

All rewriting is problem solving

2011-05-11T18:10:00.000+08:00

The common adage is that all writing is rewriting. Well, after being lost in the depths of rewrite hell the last week, it would seem to me all rewriting is problem solving.

After my first session with a script consultant on The Red Bride,a supernatural thriller, points were raised about the rules of the world and the main character’s flaw. For that reader the Third Act wasn’t satisfying as there were story logic questions raised as the twists were revealed.

My reaction for the past week has been trying to “re-imagine” my own draft into something different to rectify these perceived flaws. This has led me to getting hopelessly lost, scaring the hell out of one of my producers and chasing tangents down rabbit holes with my director.

Another trap was the referencing of similar types of films that had me thinking, at one point, that we’d simply end up ‘remaking’ those films instead of creating our own unique vision.

There is nothing worse than being stuck like this. A feeling of creative impotence. Helpless. Useless. Like being in a fog where nothing is clear. Total death for a writer.

After scratching around and trying to slam square pegs into round holes I was reminded of a line of dialogue from Apollo 13:

Let's look at this thing from a... um, from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the spacecraft that's good?

Indeed, there is much to like about the current draft and it has had favourable notes and, of course, received development funding in a very competitive field. Why then was I so prepared to quickly throw out “the baby with the typewriter” as I believe I coined it? Confidence, I suspect.

But using the wisdom of Gene Kranz (as performed by Ed Harris), I went back to the script and looked at the queries raised and started to work through how to address them in the context of the current draft. Point by point. Problem by problem.

There were gems in those points – clues to the way forward. Where once they had originally paralysed me I began to embrace the possibilities they presented within my vision of what the film was. This was more tweaking than major renovation.

Confidence restored, fog lifting, today a road map appeared to the next draft. This is in the form of a revised beat sheet - using the existing DNA of the script and making adjustments accordingly.

There’s nothing better than when you get out of the mire and feel that forward momentum again. And that’s what rewriting is all about. To use another of my phrases – “development is like a shark, if it stops moving forward it dies.”

Fiction versus reality aka Playing dead

2011-05-06T02:52:00.001+08:00

Much has been written and said about the death of Osama bin Laden in the last couple of days. I am not here to expound any personal view but what I find interesting as a screenwriter is the stark difference between fictional violence and the real version.

Rarely do you see in movies the moral complexities and the arguments that now circle the Obama administration. Was it legal? Was it an execution? A state sanctioned assassination? Should bin Laden have faced trial? Should pictures of his body be released. Should he have been buried at sea? Ad infinitum.

In the movies the body count can be as outrageous as you like in the name of entertainment. After all, they’re not ‘people’ just character names on the page, extras on a casting call. You ‘kill’ the bad guy. The hero dispenses ‘justice’ with a wisecrack. The ‘white hats’ win, the ‘black hats’ lose. Next! Last year’s truly execrable The Expendables was a notable example of this.

It’s easy as a writer to slip into trivialising how hard it is to kill another human being and how devastating the act is, no matter who that person might be. All for the sake of drama and excitement.

One of my all-time favourite lines of dialogue is from Clint Eastwood’s elegiac Unforgiven, a movie that DID deconstruct the mythology of violence: It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.

Ain’t that the truth! Yet big summer blockbusters would largely have you believe it’s no big deal. Bang! Pass the popcorn. Sure, I know it’s make believe but the contrast is telling when the real deal is broadcast to the world in high definition with a strident soundtrack of ‘expert’ commentary.

So next time I “pull the trigger” in a scene I’m going to pause and think about what it truly means instead of enacting a mere plot point…

An emotional rollercoaster

2011-04-27T16:51:00.003+08:00

As you may have gathered from my last post, I was feeling somewhat down after my two hour script session last week. I’m not quite sure why… okay, that was an outright lie. The fragile writer’s psyche that craves recognition and praise baulked at the first sign of resistance. But the points raised were all valid and put across in a constructive and amicable way. I suspect what I thought I heard in the dark recesses of my brain was, “oh no, I’m going to have to start all over again!”

Thankfully, two things happened that disabused me of this notion. One was the two hour recording of the session was made available and - once I got over the inherent awkwardness of listening to myself - it proved very useful. Secondly, that recording was circulated to my producers and director who told me I had, in fact, not descended into a babbling wreck and did fine in the back and forth.

I had typed up the notes I took during the session but when I reviewed the recording I became much more enthused as there were nuances and aspects I had missed. All the positive stuff! Funny how the mind gravitates to the negatives first and foremost. I was then listening with a ‘problem solving’ mindset and not a ‘defensive’ one. And a pathway of possibilities emerged using the existing elements.

One of the most interesting questions was: what are the elements that are sacrosanct? This made me assess aspects that have never seriously been challenged even from the earlier iterations by other writer(s). For example, the main character has always been Chinese-Australian and related to the antagonist. Why? Can we explore questions of culture and acceptance in different ways that frees up the genre aspects of the plot? Yes, of course we can!

So when it came time to meet with my producers and director yesterday to do a debrief, the whole project began to open up in ways we had never really explored. Which is really exciting!

But it’s that emotional rollercoaster you go through as you take in feedback, process it, knuckle down and work out solutions then emerge re-enthused about different pathways for your story. The trick is trying to stay on an even keel and not get despondent – script development is, in fact, hard. That’s where supportive collaborators are so vital and an attitude that embraces problem-solving as a vital part of your screenwriting armoury. Having expert feedback helps as well!

I now return to the trenches with a plan and the enthusiasm to carry out that plan. After all, nobody ever said rewriting can’t be fun!

ps I don’t think I’ll be getting a Spoken Word Grammy nomination just yet… but there’s always the next session!

Development Part 2: Welcome to the Majors!

2011-04-21T13:42:00.000+08:00

I'm a big fan of US professional sport, particularly the NBA (Go Lakers!) and the NFL (whatever happened to the 49ers?) so I listen to quite a few sports themed podcasts including the Tony Kornheiser Show (of PTI fame).

A story he recently told resonates with me after my first script session with Michael Hauge. It was about a young baseball phenom who was renowned as a fast ball hitter. There are big wraps on this kid but he'd never faced Major League pitching before. In particular, he'd never faced a curve-ball thrown by a pro. Fast ball straight down the middle? No problem. Wicked curve-ball? Absolutely no idea. The point of the story? If he is dedicated and talented enough, he will learn to adjust and thrive.

Well, today it felt like I faced a curve-ball for the first time. Didn't even swing the bat... Stttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrike!!!

But that's alright. There will be plenty more at bats before this thing is done. So like the young phenom, I have to lick my wounds, regroup and learn from the experience. Which is the whole point of going through this process with a top notch script consultant.

Also means things are getting real serious now which is where the dedication part comes in.

If you're looking for me I'll be in the 'batting cage' practising my swing...

Development aka The Long Hard Slog

2011-04-20T19:48:00.008+08:00

Tomorrow morning I am scheduled to have the first Skype session with Michael Hauge on my script The Red Bride. I am excited and, I confess, a little nervous. It will be interesting to get his thoughts on the latest draft and a sense of how we will proceed. I was down on the South Perth foreshore today listening to his audiobook “Screenwriting for Hollywood”. Six pages of notes later, I have a rough idea of what I may need to focus on using Michael’s key principles.

Then it was off to a meeting at ScreenWest to discuss an upcoming development round for another project. Before that, feedback from the director on the treatment and submission material. More feedback from the SW Development Manager. New things to consider, more changes to be made, questions to be answered.

For some reason I felt a little down after this. But then I reminded myself, this is development and development is HARD.

It took three drafts of The Red Bride over the course of a year to overcome earlier objections – female lead, too complex, not marketable – to the point where we secured a development grant and now get to work with a US script consultant. For it all to start again.

The other project, In Total Unity, will go through the same sort of cycle as we break the story. The trick is to remind yourself that this is normal - the development of a feature film script is a process of evolution (and in my experience, the odd mutation that leads you in new directions).

I was a little disheartened because I was getting notes on: submission notes, the treatment, short supporting documents. Namely every damn aspect. But I know this level of interrogation is going to save me a lot of grief later. It can be meticulous, painstaking and frustrating… but absolutely essential.

Tonight I’ll re-read the TRB script then get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow morning I’ll embark on the next step of that script’s journey. For ITU it’s back to the drawing board on the next iteration of the treatment… but with a clear idea of what changes need to be made.

To me, script development is a lot like a shark – if it stops moving forward it dies.

So back to the trenches I go!

Note: The above blog post was approved after copious notes, 14 drafts, 3 polishes and a page one rewrite, by a panel of three industry professionals, a local Government body, and extensive review by an independent Ombudsman…argggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Critics and Spoilers

2011-04-14T17:53:00.005+08:00

It appears that a well known Australian critic has gone out of his way to include a major spoiler (in the first line) of his review of Scre4m. Namely, the identity of the killer. Given that a strong component of the Scream franchise is the “whoddunit” aspect this would seem to be bloody-minded and disrespectful of both the film-makers and the intended audience. The critic clearly didn’t like the film but is that any excuse to ruin it for others by revealing such a major twist? No, absolutely not.

Social media has already started stirring with the early swell of a backlash and it’s interesting that many leading the charge are local film critics. I’m not surprised. Such an egregious review has the potential to besmirch their reputation by association.

So what is the responsibility of a film reviewer? Who ultimately are they accountable to? What damage can such a revelation cause a film or is something like Scre4m “critic proof”? What if it was an Australian film?

I know there is a stream of thought that says film critics are the natural enemy of the film-maker. But on listening to a sudden plethora of podcasts by professional film reviewers, my impression is that most are conscientious in their approach and considerate of the audience in regard to things like plot spoilers.

I was listening to a local podcast today where spoiler alerts were being given for films 30-40 years old! Okay, that may be extreme but it indicated an acknowledgement of a certain responsibility to the listener, a courtesy I am sure is extended in other media formats.

I may not always agree with critics’ thoughts on a film but I can at least acknowledge a well argued opinion. Deliberately spoiling a film, however, is inexcusable.

Do you pay any attention to film reviews? Does it influence your decision on what to see? What do you think of the inclusion of spoilers in reviews?

Quid pro… que? or I’ll show you mine if you show me yours?

2011-04-08T14:12:00.002+08:00

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately – a variety of stories in different formats: an original science fiction script from a person I’ve never met who added me on Facebook; a novel from a friend (I swear, I’m getting to it Anna!) and a feature treatment from a local writer-director. Various other scripts, both produced and not, are waiting for my eyeballs (and hopefully brain). Then, of course, there’s the review of my own work as notes start to trickle in.

During the Treatment Workshop, when the writers bonded through adrenaline and a positive, shared experience ‘under fire’, everyone agreed to stay in touch and share their work. Deciding to forgo my Goldmanesque pit for once, I took this on board and offered to send out my treatment to anyone who was interested and, in return, read and give feedback on other people’s work.

The response was a little disappointing. To date I have exchanged treatments with the above mentioned writer-director (who was in the other group) and sent mine to two people from my group. There was one other person who expressed interest… when he finished his treatment!

Nevermind. The feedback I received from two of the three has been excellent (thank you Alex, thank you Helen) with little gems from perspectives I had not considered. Which is exactly what you’re after – an insight to how to make the work better. Is the story clear? Are the characters interesting? Is there conflict in every scene? Is the ending satisfying? Does the structure work?

I also enjoy reading other people’s work as it’s a way to hone your own craft skills. As Paul said during the workshop, we now share a common language for discussing and analysing scripts and treatments. So I was pleased when I pretty much hit the 7 structure points in Alex’s treatment correctly. He also seemed pleased with my notes and suggestions. A win-win outcome.

Why the reticence then from other writers?

I’ve been to writing groups and workshops before where people promise to stay in touch and, from my experience, it rarely happens. There are notable exceptions – I met the above parenthetically mentioned Anna in a workshop circa 2000 and we have been friends and occasional collaborators ever since.

Is it that writers are notoriously insular? Is it because we are all ultimately competitors for a finite slice of funding pie? Or is it simply that once you’re out of the cauldron of insane deadlines and intensive feedback, life and other things get in the way? Surely it’s not the old bugbear about people “stealing your ideas.”

One constraint I do have is where I don’t have ultimate control of a script – for example, with The Red Bride, the producers determine the readers it goes to which is perfectly fine. My natural inclination would be to send it to out wider.

With the In Total Unity treatment though, there is no producer as yet, so Tim (director) and I are keen to get feedback as the story is developing at a rapid rate.

Do you have a set of readers you always use? Do you circulate your work? Participate in writers’ groups?

Script Consultant for The Red Bride – Michael Hauge

2011-04-02T20:35:00.006+08:00

One of the benefits of successfully going through ScreenWest’s Feature Navigator initiative is the allocation of funds for further script development. The producers have now confirmed that US story and script consultant Michael Hauge will be working with me on the next draft of the supernatural thriller, The Red Bride. This will be over Skype and the initial meeting is scheduled in less than three weeks time. An exciting prospect!

Michael is the best selling author of Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds: The Guaranteed Way to Get Your Screenplay or Novel Read and of Writing Screenplays That Sell. From his biography, “Michael… works extensively with Hollywood executives, producers, agents and managers, helping them sharpen their story and development skills, and improving their companies’ abilities to recognize powerful material, employ advanced principles of structure, character arc and theme, skilfully communicate a story’s strengths and weaknesses, and work effectively with writers to achieve a commercially successful screenplay.”

I haven’t read either of his books but found a 3 hour audiobook on iTunes called Screenwriting for Hollywood which includes selections from his “award winning workshops”. So guess what I’ll be listening to as I walk along the South Perth foreshore?!

I will be very interested to hear his views on the current draft and eager to get a sense of his process. I have had some notes back - from ScreenWest and one of the FN consultants - but haven’t formed any concrete views as yet to how I want to approach the next draft.

I’m really looking forward to our first meeting and submerging myself back into the world of hungry ghosts and demons!

Development of Script Development in Australia

2011-03-22T14:23:00.007+08:00

After the release of three Australian feature films on the same day last week (surely an issue in itself) and their poor box office performance, the post mortem has been swift and brutal. One article that caught my eye was by Jim Schembri (here) with currently over 100 comments.

There are many aspects to the debate about why these films failed, marketing high amongst them, but one clear strand was about script development (and lack of third acts in Australian films). I would like to explore this as, being an aspiring feature film writer who happens to be Australian, it is a subject close to my creative heart...

"Writing is hard." So says veteran American film and television writer and film school professor Paul Chitlik who is in Perth conducting two intensive 5 day workshops on how to craft a treatment up to Hollywood industry standards.

Now, before we go any further, I'm not one of those Australian writers who equates the word "Hollywood" to something negative or downright embarrassing as some in the local industry seem to do. What "Hollywood" means to me is classic three act story-telling and yes, damn it, most likely with a "happy ending". Do they make bad films? Sure. Do they make enduring classics that are seen around the world by an astonishing number of people? Better than anyone else.

Sixteen projects will go through this workshop. Having been in the first group of eight I can unequivocally say every project has improved exponentially. The focus is on structure and character and how the two interact, particularly in regard to the protagonist's flaw. Is it formula? Maybe. Does it work? Absolutely. Does it mean we have to write $50 million plus Hollywood style blockbusters? Of course not. Good film structure doesn't cost a fortune.

This workshop comes hot on the heels of a 2 day seminar on The Hero's Journey as outlined by Joseph Campbell and popularised in Hollywood by Christopher Vogler in his book The Writer's Journey. Conducted by Karel Segers, it gave local writers and animators another model on how to structure a classically told story, in this case, literally from the classics!

In just over a fortnight's time I will embark on a rewrite of my other feature project with a high profile American script guru (conducted over Skype). I find this both exciting and intimidating as it feels like I'm "playing with the big boys." Being outside my comfort zone and stretched as a writer is essential. It's the only way to make me and the script better.

Last year that script went through ScreenWest's Feature Navigator program where consultants were flown in for a week to give expert feedback and, in my case, a few whacks behind the ear. It is an initiative committed to improving the quality of local feature scripts. Those consultants ranged from a working producer to an Australian writer-director now developing projects in LA to two script gurus from the UK. Not only was the script dissected in great detail but also the marketing aspects ("who is the audience?") and strength of the creative team.

The Development Manager at ScreenWest, a former WAAPA graduate, worked in Hollywood for 5 years as a producer. Most conversations I have with her are more writer-producer than writer-funding bureaucrat as we discuss the marketing aspect of my projects as much as the story details.

The WA Branch of the Australian Writers' Guild does an excellent job in bringing out people to Perth to hold talks and seminars on screenwriting including such Aussie luminaries as Linda Aronson and Duncan Thompson.

In fact there is enormous focus in trying to improve the quality of scripts and screenwriters certainly on this side of the country (and I am sure over east). The thing is this:

It doesn't get handed to you.

You have to put yourself out there and mix it up. Some of these seminars/workshops are by competitive application. A lot of them are free or subsidised if you are a member of an industry body such as the Writers' Guild.

Make sure you apply! Make sure you attend!

"Getting in the room" is a term I use all the time. These people and programs are a boon for craft skills and storytelling knowledge. A lot of the time I see the same familiar faces - they are the ones serious about the craft of screenwriting. But there are many people I know working on feature projects who are never seen at even the free seminars. Writing is hard... and doing it by yourself well nigh impossible!

Finally, a quick comment on Third Acts. They are excruciatingly, mind-bogglingly, insanely difficult to pull off and I suspect that's why many Australian films struggle with them. I only recently cracked the third act of The Red Bride after many false starts. Indeed, in the last draft - a page one rewrite - I wrote the third act first because I knew if I didn't nail it we still didn't have a movie.

So while it may be valid to criticise the quality of many Australian scripts please Please PLEASE don't think it's because of a lack of effort or application of talent. There are people out there serious about their craft who are trying to do exactly what is being demanded - write entertaining film scripts that have mass audience appeal.

It just takes time and is damn hard work!

Treatment Workshop, Part 2 or Keep it simple, stupid!

2011-03-20T14:47:00.004+08:00

Ordinary world - A screenwriter prone to writing overcomplicated drafts tinkers with one of his feature creations. He knows there's a damn good story in there somewhere but procrastinates over how to tackle the next draft.

Inciting Incident - On the first day of a five day treatment workshop this writer, whose name may or may not start with *ahem* Richard Hyde, is told that he has "two big stories" and needs to simplify. Holy delete-itis, Batman!

1st Act Turning Point - Rejecting the simpler of the two "big stories", said writer decides to choose Option B(e obstinate then!) and impulsively makes his antagonist the protagonist in a completely new story... with only a few hours to submit a completely revised beat sheet. HELP!

Midpoint - After further comments on the radically revamped story, the writer agrees with the wise Mentor from far away lands that "writing is hard!" Time is short and the story mutates at a rapid rate. A shadowy government agency known only as ScreenWest might have to be called in to contain this sucker.

Low Point - Just when he thinks he's on the home stretch, the flaw returns to bite him on his left justified ass. Desperate cries of "pare down" and "cut twenty percent" ring in his ears. It seems hopeless - there are way too many "babies to kill".

Final Challenge - Armed only with a red pen, a backspace button and a demanding director, said writer wades into a ream of Courier 12 trouble. No minor character is safe from his wrath, no extraneous subplot immune to the eradication.

The Return - Having learnt his lesson, the writer composes one line platitudes for Hallmark cards... No, no, that's not it, damn it! The writer opens a blank word document and commences his latest project with a tried and true slogan in mind - Keep it simple, stupid!

Note:

No screenwriters were harmed in the duration of the workshop.

Advice and constructive commentary was, however, freely given and gladly accepted.

It's only a rumour that complaints were made to the Writers' Guild re the inhumane treatment of writers who were forced to stay up laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate to meet daily deadlines.

Everyone's project improved dramatically...

Thank you, Paul.

Nuts 'n' Bolts - Treatment Workshop

2011-03-13T10:44:00.003+08:00

Next up on the March schedule is a 5 day workshop with Paul Chitlik who flies in to sunny Perth from LA tomorrow. Starting Wednesday there will be a total of 15 hours of seminars, time allocated for one on one meetings and very tight daily deadlines for treatment pages. Yes, in 5 days we will have completed a Hollywood style 25-35 page treatment of our feature film idea. There are two of these treatment workshops with 8 projects in each. I'm in the first wave with an older script of mine - a conspiracy thriller - that has recently found favour with a local director. I had sent it to him as a writing sample so good outcome all round.

Originally set on the docks and in the boardrooms of corporate Australia during a time of major industrial strife, we're now moving it to the mining industry (uranium no less) and a radical environmental group (instead of union). While this involves both research and a rethink of settings and mindset, I was happy to do this at the director's suggestion as really it is the story of two intertwined father-son relationships - one a complete fracture, the other a reconciliation - in a time of violent conflict and battle for dominance... over business, over ideology, over each other.

Already there has been preparatory work - breaking the story down into its seven key structure points: Ordinary world, inciting incident, First Act turning point, Midpoint, Low point, Climax and Resolution as well as identifying the premise. Then we had to write a full beat sheet using those structure points as signposts. This proved interesting as I had a full draft script plus notes from a development submission with proposed changes. I did the first cut based on the existing script, then incorporated the changes, then made adjustments from the director's feedback on the resultant beat sheet. The story is in a state of evolution so there are some placeholders in there, particularly the climax. I'm sure the details will get plenty of focus in the blowtorch of the workshop. Which is exactly what I'm after.

Another interesting aspect is that each team shares its project with everyone else. I therefore have the beat sheets of 7 other projects to read and what a diverse bunch they are - horror, satire, romantic-comedy, drama, period pieces, action, the full gamut! Having done an online course with Paul I suspect we will all have an opportunity to comment on each others work which will throw up different perspectives and informed discussion. The details of each project "stays in the room" but it's a good way to gain insight into your own story and also hone your craft skills when you have to give constructive feedback on stories in genres you may not normally gravitate to.

I am looking forward to the workshop, meeting Paul in person, working with other local writers, and adding to my writing 'toolkit'. These building blocks - structure points, premise, beat sheet, treatment - are a valuable way to get your story, characters and structure into shape before getting anywhere near opening your screenwriting software of choice. You would be surprised the amount of time this can save you in the long run!

The Hero's Journey - Day Two

2011-03-06T21:26:00.008+08:00

What does one do on a beautiful, warm Autumn's day in Perth? The kind of day where it's all blue skies and smiling faces? When it's the Sunday of a long weekend no less?

Clearly, the only answer if you're a student of storytelling, is to lock yourself in a cold, dark, damp theatrette buried in a secret underground location in the heart of the city protected by implacable security guards and devious henchmen to watch movie clips all day. (Okay, I may be exaggerating - it wasn't that cold).

"But I can do that at home!", I hear you exclaim. This may well be the case but it would be without the wisdom of our visiting mentor whose name is whispered upon the air conditioned breeze with awe. The man with only half a face. Whose insight is so penetrating that only one eye can be revealed! (Too much with the mythical introduction maybe?).

Putting aside my Trickster's archetype...

Today we watched lots of movie scenes as Karel Segers showed us each of the Twelve Stages in the Hero's Journey. Each scene or sequence demonstrated the practical application of the stage being discussed. Personally, I find this much more powerful than reading or being told dry analysis of certain films. There was also plenty of interaction which allowed for clarification and the testing of our understanding.

And this just in - Pixar scores a crushing 6-1 victory over Dreamworks in the animated feature stakes as we marvel at Toy Story 1 & 3, Ratatouille, The Incredibles, Monsters Inc. and WALL-E versus How to Train Your Dragon (though there were some animated clips I didn't recognise which hints at one of my (many) flaws - but we'll come to that later). Several of the Pixar sequences were themselves mini-12 stage Hero's journeys which might account for their phenomenal box office record and critical acclaim.

But there was plenty of live action fare to keep me occupied such as The Untouchables, The Lives of Others, Frozen River, Avatar, Touch of Evil, Jaws, Phone Booth, Gladiator, Die Hard and Groundhog Day. Other films discussed were Star Wars, Thelma and Louise and Casino Royale.

What's one thing that strikes you about this list? That's right, not a single Australian film! (That's perhaps a topic for a separate post!). The other point of relevance is that while each of these films may deploy the 12 stages to varying degrees you could hardly say they are similar by any stretch of the imagination! Hence allaying the 'fear of formula' restricting creativity.

So what did I learn?

There were some key points... and you may even have caught me scribbling away redefining my script in terms of the 12 stages and character archetypes:

The vital importance of telling the story from the Hero's Point of View was stressed. There is no such thing as omniscient POV.

That some styles of story may not suit this model - film noir, for example, or a tragedy.

Perhaps the most interesting, which I had not heard before, was the concept of movement when crossing key threshold points - at the end of the First and Second Acts and right after the midpoint. As in actual physical travel. This is also where chase sequences are most likely to be found. Some of the examples were quite elaborate and extended sequences so I have to think about this in terms of my own stories (which is good - a fresh perspective).

And the surprise of the day? After spending 6 hours watching film clips I travelled to a small and foreboding 'inmost cave' - the local video store - where I suffered the ordeal of picking out a DVD that would provide entertainment value on a warm Sunday night. Astonishingly, I rented a film I wouldn't have given a second thought to before seeing an excerpt today - the animated feature Despicable Me.

I have overcome my flaw! (Well, one of them at least...)

Thank you to Karel for his expertise and good humour. You can find more information at his blog http://thestorydepartment.com/ or follow him on Twitter via @ozzywood.

Thanks also to Evangeline Than for getting Karel out here and WAnimate and ScreenWest for supporting local writers and animators.

The Hero's Journey - Day One

2011-03-05T22:52:00.006+08:00

Ordinary world

Saturday, early. Not renowned as a morning person I am running somewhat late. What I hate more than waking up early is paying exorbitant parking fees. So I trudge to the venue after depositing my car in a secret location free of such imposts (fingers crossed)...

... to encounter my first Threshold Guardian - a lady with a clipboard. Never under-estimate the power of a well crossed off list. Clearly intimidated, I stammer out my name to be given, gulp, a name tag. Cowed by the officious nature of these proceedings I mechanically pat the sticky label onto my shirt and enter a theatrette...

... that is full of people, some fifty in all, who have come to seek wisdom from our Mentor for the weekend, Karel Segers. Introductions are made by our Herald (Evangeline Than) who has organised the event for WAnimate in conjunction with ScreenWest. Yes, I am mainly surrounded by strange creatures I know little about - animators. I am encouraged, however, that they have come in numbers to learn the craft of story-telling. Either that or someone is going to ask me to draw which would be disastrous for all involved!

Refusal of the call

Karel starts by saying he will give us the "bee's knees" of all storytelling models - the Hero's Journey. I drop my pen, throw my note pad to the floor, mutter darkly about prescriptive methods of storytelling, shout obscenities at him and storm out of the room...

... or possibly just sit there meekly thinking, "here we go". But then I consider that he has an awfully nice powerpoint presentation, some snazzy clips from actual movies and an electronic whiteboard (yes!) so maybe I should turn off my inherent scepticism and go along for the ride...

The special world

... and experience a fantastical world where strange symbols and arcane terminology are the building blocks for this thing we call story-telling.

Day one is all about setting the scene - discovering Joseph Campbell, Carl Jung, Christopher Vogler and yes, the guy who perhaps made the greatest impact from a movie perspective, George Lucas. Even Aristotle's Poetics received a mention at one stage. Most of the clips are from animated movies and given the audience I can't begrudge that. Besides, those Pixar dudes do story perhaps better than anyone else around at present.

The 3 Act structure is given a little bit of a whack behind the ears for being somewhat inadequate but then is immediately redeemed for fitting in with the Hero's Journey. Karel gives a brief overview of the 12 stages with a promise that they will be shown and discussed in depth with plenty of clips tomorrow.

It's all very breezy and done with a good sense of humour and knowledge. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday before encountering the next phase of such workshops - networking!

Allies and Enemies

Down to the iconic local pub we go to share a drink and exchange snippets of who we are and what we do. This is an environment clearly filled with both Allies and Enemies, the former being other writers, the latter being bar staff. All good heroes require a flaw to overcome and mine is impatience. I suspect the reason you 'rope off' a special area in a public bar is so hopefully you can get decent service. How naive I am!

But that aside, discussion turns to projects, thoughts of the day's events, the obligatory "what are you working on?" and the mining of other information. Disappointingly, I haven't worked out who my Shadow character is yet and I do love a good nemesis! I'm also concerned with all the talk about 'shape-shifters' and nervously expect Karel to exhibit his "McKee side" at any minute. But Evangeline whisks him away before any Adaptation style rant emerges. Relieved, I trek back to my car (no parking ticket, yes!) and head home...

Tomorrow I look forward to seizing the sword and getting me some of that good Elixir...

Stay tuned!

I do love me a good workshop

2011-03-04T17:59:00.005+08:00

Fade In:

On Richard, engrossed in a screenwriting manual. You know the type, written by some well known script guru, most likely from the US. But something's wrong... the book grows heavier as if made of lead. He can barely keep it at eye level. A strange sound intrudes... it grows louder. Rhythmic, persistent... nasal. The book drops from his hands, his head lolls back... the snoring continues.

Okay, maybe an exaggeration but I really struggle with most screenwriting books. I usually find them dry and uninspiring. I've never managed to get through all of McKee's Story (or the audio book), nor Aronson's Scriptwriting Updated, never read Syd Field. I do love, however, books about writers and writing such as William Goldman's Adventures in the Screen Trade and Which Lie Did I Tell?; Stephen King's On Writing; and Joe Eszterhas' Hollywood Animal. Then there are the Peter Biskind books for a broader view of Hollywood and Sundance etc.

What I much rather prefer are workshops and seminars. I guess I just learn better in an interactive environment where ideas can be tested and discussed immediately with the author and a group of like-minded souls. Give me a whiteboard and I'm happy! So it's great to be a part of workshop month in March:

First up, this weekend Karel Segers (of The Story Department fame) is holding a two day workshop on the Hero's Journey. Christopher Vogler popularised and updated Joseph Campbell's work on the use of myth in screenwriting in his book The Writer's Journey (which I have actually read and whoever has my copy could they please return it!). I struggled to use this model in an earlier iteration of one of my scripts so I'm looking forward to having another go round with Mentors, Threshold Guardians and the like. I think the problem was it didn't feel organic and the left side of my brain (analytical) was engaged instead of the right (creative). Perhaps Karel can shed further light on this.

Then in mid-March there is a 5 day hands-on treatment workshop conducted by Paul Chitlik of Rewrite fame (another rare one I have read and liked). The goal is to end up with a Hollywood calibre 25-35 page treatment of a feature film idea. Plenty of pre-workshop work and very tight in workshop writing deadlines. Should prove quite the challenge!

I will report my findings from these workshops as I am sure there will be no snoring involved!

Richard scribbles away happily on a white board as animated debate explodes all around him in airconditioned splendour...

Oscar Predictions

2011-02-25T22:23:00.006+08:00

I have a confession to make. I LOVE the Oscars. Sure, it's cheesy, overlong, infuriating, awash with tears and backslapping but that's all part of the allure. Ricky Gervais may take the blow torch to the HFPA and their ludicrous Golden Globes, Big Russ can single-handedly take on the BAFTAs, apathy may overcome the AFIs but the Academy Awards are bullet proof. Even when they make the most egregious of errors (Crash, Roberto Benigni, denying aforementioned Big Russ of back-to-back gongs) I am still an ardent follower.

But what of predictions? It's like the Melbourne Cup where people who have no idea about horse racing authoritatively give their tips. They are clueless about form in the lead-up races and use a complex method of favourite numbers, horses names and jockey's colours to pick their favourites.

And that's the secret - I know what and who I would like to win but that bears no relation to the reality that is the Borg-like hive mind of The Academy. But it's my blog so I'll indulge in one category before my predictions...

Best Picture

I have seen 7 of the Best Picture nominees. The Fighter doesn't interest me in the slightest; I can't bring myself to go see 127 Hours because I am a sooky la la; and I don't even know if Winter's Bone has screened here(?). Of the remaining seven I would rank them in this order:

Black Swan, True Grit, The King's Speech, The Social Network, Inception, Toy Story 3, The Kids Are All Right.

Now, Black Swan has about as much chance of winning Best Picture as Michael Bay does of making a costume drama based on a classic English novel. More's the pity (the former, NOT the latter).

To my predictions then. And let me say, this seems to be a pretty predictable year for the major categories. Except the Oscars always throw up at least one surprise so you have to factor that in:

Best Picture: The King's Speech (safe, period piece, English, "semi-retard")

Best Director: David Fincher (for not screwing up Sorkin's script)

Best Original Screenplay: David Seidler (for damn well persisting all those years)

Best Adapted Screenplay: Aaron Sorkin (for making a Greek tragedy out of an uber-geek's life)

Best Actor: Colin Firth (has cleaned up every other major award)

Best Actress: Natalie Portman (all is forgiven for the Star Wars prequels)

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale (again, has swept all the lead-up awards)

Pretty predictable so far, right? Which means there has to be an upset and I'm tipping it will be in:

Best Supporting Actress: Hailee Steinfeld (for carrying True Grit in astounding fashion)

I'll add one more to give me nine categories:

Best Cinematography: Asking a colour blind screenwriter to pick this is like my Melbourne Cup analogy... BUT I'm going to predict Black Swan gets thrown a bone here over True Grit.

What are your tips? What categories do you care about? Who will cry first? Who will tank first? Who will have worst scripted joke? What will Ben Stiller do this year? How many minutes will this run over time?

Update - Next Steps

2011-02-25T17:33:00.003+08:00

I was at a dinner party during the week with (non-film) friends who know about my writing ambitions and were aware of my good news. I took a script of mine along to show them what in fact a screenplay looks like. You forget sometimes that most people don't really know much about the way a film is written. But they're interested and asking questions so it kind of is a nice 'prop' to explain what it is I do. Throw in the "architect" analogy ie a screenplay is really just a blueprint for a construction known as a film to be 'built' and off you go.

Except that doesn't cover half of the screenwriting experience. The synopses, the beat sheets, the treatments, the [fill in your short form document of choice] nor the concept of notes and draft after draft (after draft... after... oh god!). Or the creative meetings, the brainstorming, the staring into space considering possibilities, the occasional argument, and the odd bout of this mysterious disease they call 'writer's block' (or as I like to call it, laziness... certainly on my part!). I covered this here a while back.

So what's been happening?

I have already done a minor polish of The Red Bride at the producers' behest. There is a meeting of Team TRB on Monday to discuss possible script editors and/or readers; possible executive producer targets, other feedback on the script and probably my timelines and milestones for delivery of rewrites. Oh, and a new synopsis and log line and whatever other short form documents are required to help the producers do their job which is to get the money for production!

While that is going on I'm gearing up for a 5 day intensive workshop with Paul Chitlik who is flying out from the US for a couple of weeks in March. I have submitted an older feature script with a different director so we're in the process of pulling it apart - structure points, beat sheets, and eventually a new 25-30 page treatment will be written. Notice, not one single line of actual script throughout any of this! In fact, a tonne of work will be done before I even contemplate tackling the next draft. That is perhaps the critical part most people don't see - the planning, the thinking, the execution of the idea in various forms to get the structure and story in some sort of decent shape before opening up Final Draft (or software of your choice).

Then you come to write the script and you make new discoveries - often what won't work as a scripted scene and what may play much better. Some writers say their characters 'talk to them', I prefer to think of it as a continual process of honing and improving your idea.

Finally, the meeting with a local producer went well so now we go looking for a director for the short film script I wrote; and I attended the premiere of the new West Aussie feature film Wasted on the Young last night. It is always inspirational to see your peers up on stage before a packed screening and wonder what that might feel like one day... hopefully soon...ish... :-)

Feeding the Creative Soul

2011-02-17T20:40:00.006+08:00

In the last week or so I have been down at the Bohemia Outdoor Film Festival watching an assortment of short films nominated for this year's WA Screen Awards as well as a local micro-budget feature.

Normally this is something I would not do but it was refreshing to see some high quality shorts and the young talent coming through. More than that though was the sense of camaraderie and good will as the film-makers invariably had family and friends in the crowd. I spoke about the importance of this here with the screening of Kanowna last year (which also had a screening at the festival being nominated for Best Director and Best Production Design).

What it makes me realise is this: I have been working almost exclusively on feature projects which invariably have a long development time and even longer period to source finance. I don't get to sit in an audience and gauge the reaction of a living, breathing organism known as a 'paying audience'. I get to sit inside my head creating characters, worlds and stories while occasionally being let out to have meetings with key collaborators. I may not get to see the results of that work, in the worst case scenario, ever and at best, months from now.

Also this, I do not have a showpiece short film from a script I have written. I almost did, having written a great short script that received funding but then went horribly wrong as recalled here.

So today I knuckled down and finished the first draft of a short screenplay that's been hanging around for some time. There was even a 4 page detailed synopsis so it was always an idea I was fond of (like many writers I know, writing a synopsis is similar to the dental procedure in The Marathon Man). I have sent it off to a local producer with an upcoming funding round in mind. Damn it, I want to sit in a deck chair on a warm summer's night and watch a short film I've written while drinking a beer!

The other thing that was encouraging to see was a structured form of networking for newcomers to the local film industry (mostly actors) on the screening nights. Sure, some were very young but it meant they were able to meet 'notables' (I'm sure I only barely qualified) in a safe and supportive environment. The thing is, their enthusiasm is a little bit infectious too. So well done to Debbie Thoy from Wizard Corporation Productions for organising that.

Tomorrow I'll be back onto my feature script with a polish due Monday, but for today I was writing to feed the creative soul that craves recognition and applause. After all, isnt that why we do this crazy thing called screenwriting?

Breakthrough

2011-02-09T12:46:00.010+08:00

I was delighted to discover today that my script The Red Bride was one of two projects from ScreenWest's Feature Navigator programme to receive funding. The feedback on the screenplay was excellent and I am equally delighted for my director, Chris Richards-Scully and producers, Jocelyn Quioc and David Revill, who have supported and encouraged me at every step throughout the rewrite process.

We have been working on this project for quite some time but Feature Navigator was the catalyst needed to kick it up a notch. Not only from the quality of the feedback (thank you Sue, Elissa, Jonathan and Simon) but for a real sense of momentum with only a three month window to deliver a complete page one rewrite.

There is still much work to be done but this gives us the resources to shape the script into a fully market-ready product. The goal now is nothing less than to get into production by the end of the year.

Congratulations also to the Playthings team. It was interesting to see two genre scripts selected.

This is a great start to the year and I am excited as to what 2011 may bring. I would also add, if you have the opportunity to be involved in workshops like Feature Navigator, grab it with both hands. An expression of mine my collaborators would be familiar with is "getting in the room" - sometimes that is half the battle because once you're there, amazing and talented people will help make you a better writer and improve your project no end.

And yes, Simon, it truly is a ghost story now! :-)

What's next? (or Time to start a new script)

2011-02-02T14:04:00.002+08:00

Ah yes, the immortal words of President Bartlet. Another one is "Break's over." And so it is. I have rewrites to do on two scripts over the coming weeks/months but I have a hankering to start something brand new. No notes, no discussions, no new drafts, no changes... just a blank page and an idea, pristine and unsullied by 'other voices'.

Today a thought came to me that I wrote down:

Screenwriters are like sharks - momentum is everything. The moment your writing starts to stagnate it's all over, your creativity dies. The search for new ideas, fresh ways to execute existing material, and the need to constantly hone, polish and rewrite is paramount.

I could revisit much older material but I think it's time to move on (unless there is an incentive like, say, an option agreement involved!).

So what will this new project be? Well, here are some log lines I prepared earlier. People have been prodding me towards high concept ideas and I suspect that's where my writing inclinations truly reside. All of these bar one have some form of existing material - mostly synopses or concept documents. Mostly they are ideas... and yes, a dozen different writers would give 12 completely different interpretations so I'm not going to lose much sleep about "my ideas being stolen."

Which one would you like to see as a movie? Do any intrigue you? Excite you? In other words, help me pick my next project!

Your contenders are:

1) A brilliant yet unstable hacker who deliberately infects himself with a virulent computer virus must fight to regain his humanity before he plunges the world into a new Dark Ages.

2) A dispassionate scientist must stop a secret clique of mutant humans from releasing a synthetic ebola virus designed to wipe out the world’s normal population.

3) A traumatised kidnap victim uses her newly discovered powers of witchcraft to hunt down and destroy the coven that imprisoned her for seven years.

4) A cocksure policeman must stop a brutally inventive serial killer who selects and kills his victims in cyberspace.

5) As the men in his WWI re-enactment group become possessed by the ghosts of battles past, a selfish farmer’s son must cross into no-man’s land to confront an evil that grips the now deadly battlefield.

All feedback welcome!

The West Wing - My Loves (and a few hates)

2011-01-28T15:43:00.005+08:00

It's no secret my favourite writer is Aaron Sorkin with The West Wing being the greatest expression of his talent, notwithstanding that he is expected to win an Oscar for The Social Network. 'Sorkinese' has entered the lexicon as a description of the rapid-fire, exquisite dialogue of the kind that only Sorkin can write. It is indeed music to the ears.

Perhaps I am in a melancholic mood, or the heat is annoying me today but here is a rambling (and incomplete) list of my Loves (and some hates) from seven seasons of Sorkin's masterpiece:

Loves

Any scene written by Sorkin that features Martin Sheen and Stockard Channing. A master class in writing and acting every single damn time.

Mary-Louise Parker as Amy Gardner - a smart, sharp, sexy actor who laps up Sorkin's dialogue like no other.

All the characters that stand up to Bartlet - Toby (especially Toby), Leo, Abbey, John Hoynes.

That Emily Procter will always be Ainsley Hayes no matter that she moved to Miami.

That Oliver Babish was the best work I have ever seen Oliver Platt do.

Ditto with Matthew Perry and Joe Quincy.

Bartlet's rant at God in Two Cathedrals gave me goosebumps when I first saw it... and still does.

Sam Seaborn for being a 'freak' writing "the streets of Heaven are too crowded with angels tonight" in the car.

Toby wailing on the President in the Oval Office during 17 People.

Charlie being all class when he says he'll walk out with Toby after Leo's funeral.

Dr. Stanley Keyworth for not caring that Bartlet is the President.

Writing Sam out with a multi-episode story strand that was both entertaining and respectful. They didn't do a 'Mandy' on him.

Sam returning at the end of Season 7 to be Deputy Chief of Staff.

Bartlet telling Sam he'd run for President one day and that he could do it.

Bartlet firing Toby 'for cause' that was as gutwrenching as it was devastating.

Allison Janey for being so damn good she could go from 'The Jackal' to Chief of Staff without skipping a beat.

LemonLyman.com and CJ's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest analogy.

Josh telling a Senator to "take your legislative agenda and shove it up your ass".

Toby and Sam being the 'Batman and Robin of speech writing'.

Bartlet for being an oratorical snob.

Bartlet's entrance in the Pilot capped off with his dismissal of Mary Marsh ("Find it now.")

Bartlet eviscerating Dr. Jenna Jacobs over her opposition to homosexuality by quoting the Bible 'chapter and verse'.

Ainsley's fascination with muffins and cupcakes.

For casting Alan Alda as Arnie Vinnick and sending him off with class in The Last Hurrah.

My favourite epsiodes - The Shadow of Two Gunmen Part 1, Two Cathedrals, 17 People.

The greatest 6 episode stretch in television history from The Stackhouse Filibuster to Two Cathedrals.

For "Toby, come quick, Sam's getting his ass kicked by a girl." "Ginger, get the popcorn."

For Andy delivering the most devastating putdown ever to Toby - "you're just too sad."

Leo's "ain't nothing but a family thing."

"You're still mad, right?" and every other time Sam kicked ass when riled.

Bruno Gianelli for "I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses you will quite simply be dead."

For John Wells finding his feet in Season 7 and delivering a brilliant final season.

For Bartlet simply saying "What's next?"

Hates (there had to be a few)

John Hoynes sacrificed for a plot point (even though it was a doozy - 25)

Trying to resurrect Hoynes including the notion he had a one night stand with CJ.

That French kid Zoey was seeing after Charlie.

That Fruit Fly guy Ellie married.

Mandy.

The episodes The Long Goodbye and Access.

Killing Percy Fitzwallace.

The way Here Today was directed even though I know it was done to unsettle and shock.

The fight between Toby and Josh in Toby's office - the worst moment in West Wing history.

Toby talking about the twins' hats.

Not knowing what to do with the Will Bailey character once Sorkin left.

Bruno going to work for Vinnick's campaign.

Kristin Chenoweth singing 'For Once in My Life'.

Sorkin leaving after Season 4.

Rob Lowe leaving after Season 4.

Most of the humour leaving after Season 4.

The Loves substantially drown the hates and there are simply far too many to mention. It will always be my favourite show (though The Wire comes close) and is a constant source of inspiration and depression for exactly the same reason - that someone could write that brilliantly.

What are your most memorable West Wing moments?

The Big Mo

2011-01-25T08:54:00.002+08:00

There I was, resting on my laurels, latest draft of the script delivered, thinking I would have some down time. It would take a while for the local funding body to set up a panel, read the Feature Navigator scripts, make a decision on who to award the two grants to.

Until I read my email late last night. Gasp! My producers have presented a timeline for the next few months which calls for a new draft... in less than a month! Holy RSI, Batman! Well that certainly got my attention.

What I love about it is this - the producers are getting excited because the script is close, hopefully real close. They want to push ahead regardless of the result of the funding round to get a market ready script. Momentum, I love it!

The submission of the script was accompanied with development notes including my thoughts on changes to be made in the next draft. I'm comfortable we have finally cracked the story and now it's a question of execution, particularly given the genre and the twists within. The latest draft was a page one rewrite. Future drafts will require a scalpel and no longer a cudgel.

So shortly I will have to saddle up and get my brain back into gear to tackle the script again. I had put it away, literally and mentally, because I was too close to it after working furiously to meet the deadline. You need time to get perspective after such an intensive rewrite period.

I look forward to reading the script with the benefit of that time (albeit shorter than I thought!) and re-entering our ghostly world of The Red Bride.

Proof is the Puding (or how to eliminate typos)

2011-01-14T17:19:00.006+08:00

I mean proof is in the pudding! It's amazing how the human brain works. I have just finished writing a draft of a feature script that I would have re-read literally hundreds of times. So it was much to my surprise and consternation that one of my producers emailed me a PAGE of typos. Surely she jests, I thought to myself. I couldn't have missed that many errors... could I?

Indeed I had! Whole words missing in lines of dialogue. Punctuation gone on safari. Experimental spelling and inventive grammar. How is this possible?

I believe the reason is this: I know exactly what every line in the script should be. My brain magically fills in the blanks and compensates for any errors thereby bypassing the evidence before my very eyes.

You may have seen deliberate demonstrations of this where complete sentences are misspelled but as lnog as the first and lsat letter of erevy word is correct the brain will automatically recognise each wrod and comprehend the meaning. In my case, a word missing in a dialogue is easily overlooked. (Yes, I know... line).

One of the reasons script readers cite for looking unfavourably on a script is typos. Always struck me as one of the easiest things to get right and I would agree, makes your work look amateurish. But I would say to you this - it is absolutely VITAL you have fresh eyes look at your screenplay because of the above calibration your brain may be doing without your conscious assent!

Also, after spending hours upon hours on a rewrite, I don't know about you, but I can't see the wood for the trees sometimes. The other factor at work is this: I get caught up in the story. I race along with the drama, the emotion, the action... and forget to slow down and check each damn word. A good sign, granted... but not if meticulous examination is required.

So make sure someone else proof reads your script! You'll be surprised what they might find.

Great news for WA screenwriters

2011-01-09T10:25:00.006+08:00

Local funding body ScreenWest and the Australian Writers' Guild have teamed up to bring Paul Chitlik, author of 'Rewrite', to Perth in March.

He will be conducting workshops on "...how to create dynamic characters and put them into action, write seven point outlines followed by beat sheets, focusing on the key elements that drive the story, and will complete a 25-35 page treatment in the format favoured by major studios around the world. Most importantly, participants will learn the overall process of writing a treatment so that they will be able to apply that process to any future project."

I had the pleasure of working with Paul through an online Skype course after my feature script was shortlisted for the Warnock Award last year. I blogged about this here.

I am familiar with his seven story points and emphasis on redoing beat sheets... but we didn't have time to do a full treatment. Through Skype and emails I have found Paul to be nothing less than a complete gentleman, vastly knowledgeable about crafting a compelling screenplay and very generous with his feedback. So it will be fantastic to finally meet him in person.

I would strongly recommend any local screenwriter to apply for these workshops - further details here.

PAC Script Lab (Reprise)

2011-01-07T22:04:00.003+08:00

In today's West Australian Writers' Guild e-bulletin:

SCRIPT READINGS: Seeking Screenplays.
PAC Script Lab is seeking advanced draft scripts to be read by professional actors at our bi-monthly script readings. Sponsored by ScreenWest & the City of Subiaco, PAC Script Lab is designed to encourage the development and visibility of West Australian screenplays and writers. Submissions due 31 January. Information: www.screenworkshop.com.au .

Highly recommended!

PAC Script Lab

2011-01-04T16:04:00.004+08:00

The Perth Actors Collective run bi-monthly script readings with the support of ScreenWest and the City of Subiaco (plus other food/drink sponsors).

Actors volunteer their talents, local writers their feature scripts and the audience their feedback. It's an excellent initiative and one I enthusiastically support. Here's the testimonial I wrote last year...

I am writing in support of the excellent PAC Script Lab initiative where local screenwriters have the opportunity to ‘road test’ their screenplay with professional actors in front of a supportive and informed audience.

I have been both a writer in these circumstances and a longstanding attendee. These are the things I see at Script Lab which I believe are unique and worth fostering in the local film industry:

Screenwriters and their work being put front and centre which is a rarity!

Scripts given life by wonderful volunteer actors so that the writer can hear his/her words and assess the strength of the storytelling.

The support of family and friends – sometimes overlooked but critical for the emotional wellbeing of writers who have to lock themselves away for hours on end to create a compelling screenplay.

The critical and supportive eyes and ears of the industry. Much robust and constructive discussion/feedback happens at these readings which can only help the writer.

The associated networking possibilities where actors, writers, directors and producers can come together in an informal atmosphere. This helps strengthen the local industry.

Genuine possibility for producers and/or private investment to come on board which allows for the ultimate goal – getting the script turned into a film.

All these things are a true blessing for a writer and, for this reason, I encourage other writers to participate as well as recommending actors to volunteer.

If you're a West Australian screenwriter with a feature script in half decent shape then I recommend you enquire about having a reading. If you've never been to a reading check it out. Perth ultimately is a small film-making community and any form of support is greatly received.

A Film By (Reprise)

2011-01-01T12:56:00.002+08:00

In his interview with Jeff Goldsmith on the Creative Screenwriting Magazine podcast of The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin stated what he wants for all screenwriters, which is this:

"... I want screenwriters to have the same relationship to the movies that they write as playwrights have to the plays that they write. It's that simple. I want us to end the festival of self-loathing that we're in... and I want us to take our rightful place as the authors of what we write. I hear all the time that film is a directors' medium. I don't know who first said it but I promise you it was a director, okay, and they pulled it out of their ass. It is no more a directors' medium than television or plays."

Sorkin then goes on to say how "incredibly lucky" he's been with the film directors he has worked with calling them "fantastic collaborators". None more so than with David Fincher on The Social Network saying that they were "partners". He then concludes:

"I love that [being partners] and I want that for everybody because it's no less than what you deserve when you write a screenplay that becomes a movie..."

Amen.

Who's Supporting Who?

2010-12-31T14:04:00.004+08:00

I admit, there are a lot of things I don't understand about the Academy Awards - how Roberto Benigni won a Best Actor gong, for example, is right up there with the greatest mysteries of the twentieth century.

Another is how the acting awards are split into 'lead' and 'supporting' and who is slotted into what category. I mention this because I have just seen The King's Speech which is a well made movie clearly with Oscar in mind. Prestige subject matter - check; Character afflicted with disability - check (if somewhat mildly); Period piece - check; presence of Geoffrey Rush - check.

And there's the rub - Colin Firth is widely being discussed as presumptive favourite for Best Actor while Geoffrey Rush is somehow relegated to the category of supporting actor. How is this possible? Surely the two leads in this film are Rush and Firth with Helena Bonham-Carter and Guy Pearce the most notable of the supporting cast.

The film works best when Rush and Firth are on screen and theirs is the critical relationship in the movie. But alas, our Geoffrey, who is excellent, gets reduced to a 'support player' when awards season comes around.

I suspect it's because there's an old fashioned notion that a movie should have a male lead and a female lead. Or maybe it's because studios try and maximise their chances by spreading the talent around the categories - Rush and Firth, head to head, would take votes off each other?

Perhaps Oscar should get with the programme, expand the number of nominations in Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor, and remove the gender distinction. All I know is Colin Firth is good, but it's Rush who makes the movie work.

Speaking of categories, is the screenplay for The Social Network an original one or an adaptation? It's based on the book The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich which was being written concurrently with the screenplay. Probably doesn't matter as the script will win whatever category it is in.

Finally, my own awards on the last day of 2010...

Best Film - This proved to be very hard to decide - The Social Network left me a little cold, Inception left me underwhelmed, The King's Speech was good but not spectacular, Toy Story 3 was excellent but, at times, I felt the strings being pulled too overtly... which leads me to:

Animal Kingdom. Without meaning to come off as parochial, this was totally absorbing fare and the best Australian film I've seen in a long time. Good to see it found international recognition as well.

Worst Film - This was an easy decision. The Expendables was the biggest load of old tosh I have seen in a long long time.

Most Over-rated Film - It has to be Inception. I wasn't convinced it was the masterpiece many were saying the first time around and on a second viewing it diminished even more.

Best Performance - Again, going the Aussie route here with Ben Mendelsohn from Animal Kingdom who supplies the menace that kicks that film up a notch.

Worst Performance - anybody who was in The Expendables though Mickey Rourke probably gets the nod for his ridiculous monologue that was flat out awful.

So there it is, 2010 done and dusted. Have a great New Year's and here's to a creative and prosperous 2011!

The Red Bride Update

2010-12-29T19:05:00.003+08:00

Since Feature Navigator back in mid-October where we received expert feedback from a range of consultants, I have been working on a page one rewrite of my feature script The Red Bride. That was delivered to my producers and director on 17 December. Today was time for feedback and notes at a marathon 8 hour script session.

Oh okay, there was a little break for a barbecue luncheon but other than that it was a full on, scene by scene examination of the draft.

I co-opted my parents' place down in Cottesloe with its lovely courtyard for said proceedings and we were royally spoilt for food and drink on a perfect Perth day.

The draft is in pretty good shape but copious notes were taken, certain scenes haggled over, arguments won and lost, characters assassinated and revived as these things often go.

Right now I am mentally exhausted but it was a great day and I'd like to thank my TRB colleagues Chris Richards-Scully, Jocelyn Quioc and David Revill (... with a surprise cameo performance from Wayne Nicholson) for the rigorous discourse. Special thanks to Mum and Dad for the hospitality.

Next stage, filtering through all the feedback and doing another pass. Deadline for final submission, 17 January.

Western Australian Web Series Needs Your Support

2010-12-28T20:55:00.013+08:00

Normally I wouldn't shill for other projects on this blog, but there are two talented Perth film-makers who are one of 15 finalists in a competition sponsored by Movie Extra. First prize - $50,000 to produce a web series.

I did many a workshop (PAC1-2) with Henry starting in 2005 and met Aaron probably the following year. They write, direct and act with an impressive track record of short films and awards between them.

So check out their one minute entry here and vote accordingly. Don't delay - the winner is announced on 12 January.

While you're at it, have a look at the freshly uploaded Christmas Special which is funny, audacious and kind of disturbing in equal measure. Surely a Henry and Aaron signature!

Good luck lads and hope to see the full series in 2011...

Climate Change - A Movie Review

2010-12-28T13:30:00.005+08:00

Remember the movie Independence Day where Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved us from marauding aliens who consume the natural resources of a planet then move onto the next? Well it is my contention we are the aliens - we just haven't figured how to get to the next planet yet.

Yes, one key characteristic of the human race is this - we consume things at a prodigious rate. We are no more capable of adapting than the dinosaurs were, the last dominant species on the planet. Is man made activity a contributor to global warming? - probably; is the globe warming at an unnatural rate? - perhaps. One thing I do know is this - for all the debate, conferences and politics, there is little we can do about it. We don't change. We consume. That's who we are.

ETS, Carbon Tax, CPRS, wind power (et al), direct action, Copenhagen, Cancun... pretty much none of it will make any difference. First World countries are too used to the luxuries of modern life; Third World countries covet those luxuries and argue, not unreasonably, that they too should be able to obtain them.

As for pricing carbon - do we really want economists to be the architects of a system to 'save the planet'? To put our fate in the same hands as those people who caused the Global Financial Crisis by buying and selling things that literally don't exist? A small number of people will make a lot of money with little or no impact on the climate - the human race is also pretty good at ensuring a small 'elite' make money at the expense of others (also known as the vast majority).

While climate change is trumpeted as the greatest moral and ethical challenge of our time, politicians know that if they were to really get serious about implementing measures to limit emissions they would soon be out of power. "By all means, save the planet as long as it doesn't effect me" appears to be the rallying cry.

Therefore an elaborate charade is being played out - people want something done... as long as it doesn't impinge on their lifestyle (higher electricity bills - no thank you; more expensive petrol - I don't think so; stop driving my SUV - hell no; nuclear power plant next to my suburb - are you crazy?); while politicians have to be seen to be doing something while actually doing very little other than use words like 'consensus' and argue about meaningless percentages. This is why we will never actually change our essential nature.

As for 'saving the planet', this is typical of the human ego. What people mean to say is, 'make sure it is still inhabitable by humans'. The best thing that could happen to the planet is that sea levels rise, the world is covered by water and a couple of million years later the next dominant species evolves after the Earth 'heals' itself.

Who knows, it might be giant cockroaches who can shoot plasma out their arse and reason with Doogie Howser like precision. Starship Troopers may yet prove to be a more prophetic piece of film-making than An Inconvenient Truth!

You may think this is a very fatalistic point of view - and you would be right. Watching the world's politicians and our local version spin, obfuscate and stall over this matter at every opportunity is a true indicator of human nature and self-interest. It's who we are...

Character as Prop

2010-12-23T20:34:00.007+08:00

I was watching the penultimate episode of the Australian television series Rake last week which apparently is well liked by those who, well, like that sort of thing. Putting aside the absence of an 'A' story (or any story really) and whether it was a comedy or a drama, there were two scenes that reminded me of an observation a local writer made about a scene in the much lauded Underbelly 1. Which was this:

There was a scene set in an old suburban sporting grandstand where 5-6 thugs were meeting to discuss things that underworld figures discuss in grandstands. The writer's observation was this - not one of them was drinking a choc milk or reading the paper or doing anything normal people would be doing sitting in a suburban grandstand (talking about abnormal things). It was if they had been arranged for a photo shoot - which indeed they had been. It was an astute observation.

Onto Rake, which stars Richard Roxburgh as a larrikin lawyer who... I'm not quite sure what the end of that sentence is... but anyway.

The two scenes that reminded me of the 'character as prop' observation were these:

Rake goes into a Chemist with a raging headache and asks for suitable relief. The Chemist, apparently baffled by this complex request, vacates the scene to go out the back. Why? Because two robbers are about to enter, one of whom will clout our hero over the scone then cause the comical demise of his mate. That business resolved, the Chemist returns. He was not a character, merely a prop to be moved about by the writer as required. It totally jarred and was more than faintly ridiculous.

Which leads us to the next scene where Rake is getting stitches by, I presume, a nurse. They have a conversation then another man enters who harangues Rake about something or other. Not once did the 'nurse' even look at the interloper, ask who he was, politely state, "you're not allowed back here, Sir" or "who are you?" or "do you mind?" until he takes offence at something Rake says and we get her reaction shot. He hurriedly explains, "he slept with my wife" or such like. Again, that actor was there to recite her lines on cue and react when required. It was if a vase of flowers was stitching up our hero for all the life that character had.

Maybe they're small grievances - and sure, I'm probably as guilty as the next writer of doing such things - but it can really jar and take you straight out of the scene. Once that suspension of disbelief is destroyed it's so hard to win back.

So make sure your secondary characters have a damn good reason to be in the scene other than being a prop for the main character. Make sure they react to the given circumstances of the scene otherwise they look like they're just waiting to hit a mark or recite a line which is death for compelling drama...

If indeed that's what Rake is supposed to be...

The Year in Rear View

2010-12-18T12:21:00.008+08:00

2010 - what a year you have been! From being made redundant; to the suicide in the unit next door; to participating in Feature Navigator; to flaming out in screenwriting competitions; to a misdiagnosed heart scare; to having potentially three feature scripts in play for next year; it has been a rollercoaster year.

What have I learnt?

Don't send a script out too early!

I had some positive feedback on one script, and while it was shortlisted in the Bill Warnock Award, it tanked in a couple of US screenwriting competitions and an AWGIE category. That sort of rejection can be a little soul destroying! Simply, it wasn't ready.

Be persistent!

While that script didn't do anything - and I was told by one writer to drop it altogether - I took on board the feedback and did a rewrite that streamlined and simplified the story. That draft was selected for Feature Navigator where it had a very positive reception. Two months on, there has been a page one rewrite and it's only getting better.

Confidence is everything!

The reason I put that script out is I finally found a voice in the local funding body that supports my writing. That has lead me to other allies - a script consultant in the US - who I hopefully will work with again next year - and other experts from overseas. Along with my key collaborators, this sort of positive reinforcement is invaluable when you're slogging through rewrites.

Take the meeting!

An email query from a director new to Perth with an interesting CV and slate of projects came with the seal of approval from a person whose opinion I respect. So I took the meeting. Out of that unexpected encounter we are now working on one of my older scripts (that I used as a writing sample) and likely to work on a brand new idea in 2011.

Never toss anything!

The above is one script from the bottom drawer. Another has found favour with my TRB director when he finally read it - after like two years - and liked it. We will discuss further in the new year but he already has asked to send it to a local producer and an actor maybe on the cusp of big things in the US. Rewrites beckon but nothing should ever go to waste. All it takes is one person who loves it who wants to fight for it to get made.

Rewriting is mandatory!

This is the hardest but most rewarding part. Scripts evolve and mutate, grow and slowly take shape. In Hollywood they spend dollars, time and writers developing scripts. Here, things can tend to be rushed into production before they're ready. It can be a slog, no doubt. But getting the script right is critical.

Do the damn notes!

I've always hated writer's notes for funding submissions - "tell me everything you forgot to do in the last draft that if you had remembered (or known) you would have done". Luckily, I sat on a couple of panels during the year and saw the level of detail some writers provide to support their script. The light bulb finally went on - it's so competitive that the supporting documents are critical. Take the time to do them right.

On the personal front, I never thought I would be made redundant from my 'day job'. It stings the ego and the way it was done really jarred. You realise you're just a number not a valued employee, even after 21 years. I haven't been looking for a 'real job' so the acid is on to make a fist of the writing. Kind of scary and liberating at the same time. It means I have time to work on scripts and meet deadlines. I don't ever want to go back to an office if I can avoid it.

As for the health scare and the suicide, those things showed me there are more important things than petty grievances and whinges, gossip and controversy - of which there has been plenty in the local Perth film-making scene of late. I try and stay away from all that and do my own thing with the people I want to collaborate with who I trust and respect. It's taken a long while but I am happy with the circle of creative people around me.

I look back at 2010 as a year where the foundation for 2011 and beyond was erected - renewed confidence in my ability, new contacts and collaborators, old scripts resurrected with current ones born anew.

So here's to a safe and happy festive season and a creative new year!

Update or It's about time there was a new blog post!

2010-12-04T17:36:00.006+08:00

Since my last post:

Prince William is getting married... but Australia is not getting hitched to the pork barrel buffet known as the FIFA World Cup;

Victoria has a new government by bucking the trend of being well hung... while the Federal government hangs the new paradigm out to dry to the tune of $50 billion dollars and counting (surely the most expensive doodle on a coaster in Australian aviation history aka the National Broadband Network);

North Korea is menacing the south... while Sarah Palin continues to menace the English language, commonsense and possibly bears;

Americans are up in arms about arms being up places they shouldn't be at airport check-ins... while Qantas just hopes bits don't fall off the damn plane.

In other words, a fair bit has happened! Except for blogging... (insert: shameful expression).

On the personal front, this being made redundant lark agrees with me! I can now keep hours more suited to a writer, namely never having to get up before 9am. I have, however, become quite the denizen of cafes and pubs, a kind of surreal limbo that I imagine equates to Hell's waiting room. Not that the mindless babble of my fellow patrons isn't interes-- oh, who am I kidding? There are times I have been tempted to drive a fork into my skull... but they tell me you must suffer for your art.

The rewrite for The Red Bride is going well... though a little different to my usual practice. I always write chronologically but this time, to move forward, the Third Act had to work much more coherently. I'm finally clear on the mechanics of the climax and the rewritten version plays far better. Next was a rethink of the set-up in the First Act given where we now end up and that's taking shape nicely. Which leaves the treacherous wastelands of the Second Act to navigate. A place where some screenwriters wander off track only to die a slow painful dea-- okay, enough with the melodrama!

Meanwhile, an older script has been dusted off and found favour with a director I've recently met courtesy of some 'match-making' by the local funding agency. A development round looms and while I don't have time to do a rewrite, detailed notes on the direction of the next draft are being prepared. Options and deals are being discussed so this one's back on the front burner.

Throw in some de facto script editing on a short and a feature I have high hopes for and it's been a pretty busy time.

Hence the reason for my tardiness in blogging. Though I note I am much better than one of my producers (who shall remain nameless), the one who always kills off my female supporting characters! But that's another story...

The Horror, The Horror

2010-11-05T06:47:00.002+08:00

Having watched a few horror movie/ghost stories over the last couple of weeks - for research purposes - it appears there are some unusual recurring themes:

1) Every child in America under the age of 12 can see dead people.

I mean, who knew? Has there been research conducted into this phenomenon given its prevalence? Can I get funding for such a study? Do the ghosts have their own think tank happening to counter this?

Damn Harry, if only that bratty six year old couldn't see us, we'd be scaring the bejesus out of the entire neighbourhood.

I'm working on it, Mildred. The kid's got some sort of supernatural x-ray vision thing that's foolproof.

Thank goodness the parents are as thick as two planks and have no idea of our existence.

Don't get complacent, dear. It always wears off in the Third Act.

Bugger!

2) When a child becomes a ghost it MUST have long black, seaweed like hair that covers its ENTIRE face.

Clearly, all hairdressers go to heaven when they die. Let's face it, the dripping wet, seaweed chic hairstyle is getting kind of old. Someone down in the fiery bowels must have at least done a TAFE course, no? It's not like they'd be short of hot air to do a little styling between hauntings.

3) Revenge is a dish best served... with dollops of confusion and lashings of misdirection.

Okay, so I find myself a ghost having been tragically ripped from my mortal life by some heinous act. What to do about the perpetrators of my violent demise? Find some innocent and confuse the shit out of them, of course! By presenting cryptic clues, hostile gestures, physical torment and general mayhem. Why I would do this when I am fully capable of taking care of business myself as demonstrated by said supernatural abilities is beyond me.

Take Gothika for example. The female ghost (disconcertingly BLONDE which was the biggest twist in the whole film) possesses Halle Berry (and who hasn't wanted to do that at some stage?) - who is innocent - so she can butcher her husband - who is decidedly not - and scrawl a cryptic message in blood on the wall that ultimately hints at a co-conspirator. Poor traumatised Halle eventually kills the second baddie after being locked up in her own mental institution, cut 30 something times by said ghost and generally had the shit kicked out of her. Oh, and she found another girl trapped in her husband's downstairs fun house.

My question is this? Why didn't said spook kill said bad guys itself and write Halle a polite note that was a bit more helpful re the trapped girl? If it had to be in blood so be it. But really, don't they have career counselling in Hell for vengeful spirits about how to gain a little closure?

4) The three scariest things in the entire universe are:

i) A telephone ringing - I suspect this is because people fear it could be the ghost of a long dead telemarketer ringing to see if you'd like to change your telephone service provider.

ii) A precocious child - because this clearly is a sign they have been possessed by Satan and are going to paint the rumpus room with your gizzards.

iii) Renee Zellweger in a horror film.

So I'm thinking I need to write a ghost story about a kid around the age of 12 who is bullied and ostracised by all the other kids because he CAN'T see ghosts... and when he eventually does, the ghost turns out to be Renee Zellweger - with a crew cut - who was killed in a freak telemarketing accident and uses a powerpoint presentation and flowcharts to explain that said kid's father, the CEO of the off-shore telemarketing company - who was once a precocious child - is still possessed by Satan and manufactured the whole thing.

That would work, wouldn't it...?

That hoary old chestnut... A Film By --

2010-10-27T10:51:00.005+08:00

Fair bet anybody who knows me (in my creative circles) understands I worship at the altar of one A. Sorkin.

[Let's take a moment to pause here and genuflect as appropriate]

So I 'm quite surprised when the Hollywood dream pairing of Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher produces "A Film by David Fincher", namely 'The Social Network'.

I haven't seen the film yet - it opens in Australia today and I'll be heading to my favourite cinema soon - but I have read the screenplay. While it may not be his typical style of protagonist, the script is pure Sorkin, namely scintillating dialogue and a fractured timeline narrative he often deployed in 'The West Wing' (for example, 'The Shadow of Two Gunmen, Parts 1&2' and the majestic 'Two Cathedrals').

What hope do the rest of us have when such a distinctive screenwriting talent has to put up with A Film By [insert director here] --?

Don't get me wrong, I like Fincher and most of the films he has directed (though I wasn't as high on 'Zodiac' as some people and haven't seen '...Benjamin Button' yet). But even many of the reviews I've read talk about Fincher's storytelling style and neglect to even mention the screenplay or its writer! Which, by the way, is a shoo-in for a Best Adapted Screenplay nomination at the Oscars, Golden Globes, WGA, WASA's, you name it.

Now, I am the first to admit that when I heard of "the Facebook movie" I couldn't see how it would deliver an overly dramatic tale. Then, when I read the script the first time, I couldn't see how a dialogue heavy story criss-crossing between two court depositions and flashbacks would be a commercial hit. But I should have always trusted Mister Sorkin - and I have no doubt Mister Fincher has brought his usual visual flair to the material - given that it is now being described as one of the films of the year and is doing well at the US Box Office.

But let me say this - in an age when the new 120 pages is around 100 - I would NEVER be able to get away with writing a 162 page script... but then I'm no Aaron Sorkin. Few people are.

So endeth the lesson.

Remember to genuflect on your way out...

Feature Navigator, Part 3

2010-10-25T23:53:00.003+08:00

A post from fellow screenwriter Ceinwen Langley re Feature Navigator on her blog Feed the Writer. Topics include excitement, structure and things that make (some) writers cry aka rewrites*. Oh, and something about avocados...

Read it here!

*Personally, the willingness to accept feedback, be collaborative and do proper rewrites (not tinker around the edges) is one major thing that distinguishes people who are serious writers from those who think they are.

Ghost in the (DVD) Machine

2010-10-25T22:00:00.002+08:00

Okay, once is pretty funny - ha ha ha - twice is beginning to feel like the universe is having some fun at my expense.

YES, I have been renting ghost story DVD's.

NO, I don't expect said ghosts to haunt my DVD player, namely --

Exhibit A - The Others

A lovely little gothic horror that proves what people have been saying for years - Nicole Kidman's face (indeed, the rest of her too in this movie) is dead. The film is notable for its twist... so imagine my annoyance when the DVD freezes two-thirds of the way through and REFUSES to play any further.

I dutifully return it to my rental place and report the defect. Joy, there is another copy!

Lady: You know you have to play something else first?

Me: Huh?

Lady: Before you play this disc...

While I ponder this, she lathers up the replacement with cleaning fluid and inserts it into some machine that whirs away merrily.

I return home, sheepishly play something else for a few minutes then try The Others Mark 2... which promptly freezes at the EXACT SAME SPOT.

Okay, like Tony Abbott I'm not a "tech head" but at this stage I'm struggling to understand how disc number 2 has inherited the flaw of disc number 1.

I try EVERYTHING... short of exploring the aerodynamic properties of my DVD player (though it was a close run thing). The thing will not budge! No twist ending for me.

Exhibit B - The Haunting

Sure, it's a bad remake that I'd forgotten I had watched a while back - Catherine Zeta-Jones' presence during proceedings soothed my vague sense of disappointment. Things were going swimmingly until 1 hour 19 minutes... then pixels attacked in ever increasing swarms until finally the disc FROZE at the 80 minute mark.

[Expletives deleted]

The DVD player is now seriously in danger of experiencing a similar trajectory to an F-16 Fighting Falcon with its fly-by-wire capability disabled ie gliding through the air with all the grace of a house brick.

[More expletive deleteds and nervous glances in the direction of surrounding units]

But I relent and concede defeat.

What puzzles me is that the American remake of The Grudge, a truly awful film, played without a hiccup the previous night. These ghosts surely have a sense of humour!

Now I have Rosemary's Baby teed up for viewing... but I'm scared to hit play lest --

A) This also freezes at some point and I accidentally maim a passerby with an airborne DVD player;

B) This is the beginning of my own personal haunting - you know, it all starts off kind of incidental and harmless then builds in intensity. Personally, I suspect the blender is what will finally do me in; or -

C) This is symptomatic of the death of the neighbourhood 'video store' (the name itself an anachronism) surely to be hastened by the advent of the National Broadband Network...

... but that topic is a whole other kettle of bees wax.

For now, I will bar myself in the bedroom and await a long, black haired child-ghost to spit out of my DVD and do unspeakable things... I'm hoping housework but that may be too much to ask.

Feature Navigator, Part 2

2010-10-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

As advertised, the remaining sessions provided more robust discussion and the occasional two-by-four applied to the forehead. This was purely for medicinal purposes whenever my utterances on the script could be mistaken for the delusional ranting of a mad man.

All too soon it was time to wrap things up, head for the pub and unwind. But that will prove to be a brief respite as there is much work to be done. Notes to be typed up, discussed, mulled over and applied. A new draft to be supplied by mid January. Momentum to maintain.

The greatest gift to take away from the week? A sense of genuine excitement over the potential of the project and of the team. This provides us with an energy and belief that is invaluable.

I was also inspired seeing the passion of the other teams and diversity of stories.

In conclusion, I think The Red Bride team acquitted itself well. The project stands up. Our instincts are right. Now it's time to use all this feedback and take it to the next level. That's a great challenge and one I look forward to with renewed confidence and anticipation.

To all those involved, thank you.

For those who offered further counsel and assistance, thank you.

For the final parting words at said pub, thank you. You know who you are.

Feature Navigator

2010-10-13T20:48:00.011+08:00

Six teams of film-makers shuffle nervously in their seats. Eyes dart. Throats clear. Fingers drum.

Interspersed throughout the room are representatives from Screen Australia, ScreenWest, the Australian Writers' Guild... and the three consultants who will generously offer their expertise, counsel and good humour over the coming days.

Introductions are made. Expectations set. Projects announced...

So begins Feature Navigator, a week long development workshop for feature film projects. And what a diverse group of films they are - horror, psychological thriller, a Bollywood style comedy, children's adventure, period drama, and our own supernatural mystery.

I know some of the people around the table but there are a lot of new and unknown faces. We are all colleagues but also competitors - only two teams will receive development money based on the next draft delivered in three months time. A draft that will be immeasurably enhanced by the sessions we're about to go through.

We meet the Head of Development at Screen Australia, Martha Coleman, who later that day (Monday) gives an engaging and informative session, described here. The following day The Red Bride team have a thirty minute 'meet and greet' with Martha - the project is discussed, who we are, what we've done, what we hope to do.

Then it's down to business. First up - Sue Murray who was an Executive Producer on Dr. Plonk, Ten Canoes, Tom White and co-produced Alexandra's Project with Rolf de Heer. The script is discussed at length and I am delighted with Sue's insight and rigour. This is exactly how it should be and I feel comfortable with the back and forth. There are some very perceptive observations I had not considered (or heard) before and this is like gold. Chris (director) and David (*co-producer) are also engaged in the creative conversation and Sue's comments about the team and Chris' directing style are very positive. Then it's on to marketing, casting and other matters. A thoroughly positive and valuable consultation done with great grace and precision.

Tomorrow, I am really pleased to be back in the company of Messrs. Rawlinson and van der Borgh whose workshop earlier in the year I was most impressed with. Then Elissa Down (The Black Balloon) - who I know from her Perth days - on Friday. Elissa has spent the last two years in Los Angeles developing a slate of projects and it will be fascinating to hear more of that process.

I am feeling good about the future of the script and embracing the momentum this sort of intense scrutiny delivers. More reports as events unfold...

Special mentions to Alan Payne from the WA Branch of the Australian Writer's Guild and Rikki Lea Bestall from ScreenWest for making Feature Navigator possible and for the quality of consultants engaged.

* My other co-producer, Jocelyn Quioc, would love to be with us but is unfortunately unable to attend due to work commitments.

That damn pesky copyright thing

2010-10-12T07:15:00.008+08:00

So I'm going through my Google Reader subscriptions this morning and come across this. Someone lauding another person for creating their own brilliant Simpsons intro.

Hmmmmmm. The Simpsons. Really? We get to make our own little animated cartoon sequences now do we? And post them on YouTube.

Dubious, I click the play button to be presented with - "This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Twentieth Century Fox".

Why am I not surprised?

What does surprise me, however, is that the link to the clip is posted by the Film and Television Institute. The FTI, as described in its website, is "the premier professional development centre for independent screen production & events in Western Australia".

Now call me old fashioned, but I would have thought such a body might actually extol the virtues of copyright protection to its members and readership.

Just like I know it's a complete waste of time for me to write my amazing [insert studio franchise/comic book/graphic novel property here] script as a) the copyright owner will sue me back to the stone age; b) the script will never get produced; and c) my time would be better spent working on my own ideas OR adapting a property I have acquired an option on.

And when option c) comes to pass I damn well expect my intellectual property to have the full protection of copyright laws.

The thing that 'never ceases to amaze me' is how blase some film-makers can be about copyright.

Just saying, they don't need any further encouragement...

The secret to screenwriting is...

2010-10-11T13:27:00.005+08:00

Coffee.

Yep, novelists can have their red wine; poets their absinthe; rock stars their vodka, beer, battery fluid, more vodka, bourbon et al...

For the screenwriter is has to be coffee. Why?

I have spent the last three days in cafes drinking more damn coffee whilst discussing scripts than I have in the last 6 months. I don't even like coffee! Even worse when it's with soy milk which surely was the invention of a bullied kid who went on to become a naturopath and sought revenge in the words: "gluten and dairy free diet". The things they must have done to that kid in school brings a tear to my eye. Revenge is a mug best served with cold soy.

Why all the cafe related activity you ask? [Okay, I'm theorising that you would be even slightly interested in the cause of my caffeine intake]...

Well today marked the start of a week long feature development workshop where somewhere in the schedule the word "pitch" was mentioned. For most writers - even the ones who take their coffee with full cream milk - this word has the peculiar effect of causing severe panic, internal bleeding and loss of cognitive function. At least it feels that way!

Of course, it's always worse when you imagine the train wreck in your head that is trying to explain your baby to a room full of (semi-) strangers. But you survive. Especially when the powers that be make the producer do it [yay!]... then said producer throws to your for additional comments [huh? damn, I was just regaining the feeling in my left side]. But we all live to pitch another day (... Friday as it turns out *gulp*).

The real secret to screenwriting is development. Which is exactly what the week is about - putting 6 creative teams in a room to discuss their feature projects with various consultants from Australia and overseas. This is from all angles including script, marketing, the strength of the team etc in order to develop the project to the next stage. That being, hopefully, closer to the holy grail of financing and production.

Today was the introduction session. Tomorrow the real work for The Red Bride team begins. Should be fun and very useful in moving the project forward.

Just, enough with the coffee already, okay?

Dear Internet

2010-10-02T10:52:00.002+08:00

Please excuse Richard's absence from his blog this past month. He has been busy reading many scripts, some of them even his own; frequenting cafes & pubs throughout the Perth metropolitan area seeking inspiration and/or coffee that doesn't taste like caffeinated dirt; and engaging in intriguing creative discussions generally spoiled by someone, most likely his good self, using the term "turning point" and such like.

I have been assured he will return shortly to document his ongoing misadventures, starting with an upcoming feature film development workshop.

Regards,

Omnipotent narrator

Spring cleaning

2010-09-02T10:30:00.002+08:00

Spring is upon us! Well, in the southern hemisphere anyway. A time when men think of football finals, pretty women and... cleaning?

Huh?

Yes, it is true. I'm getting a lot of practice at it - I spent most of Friday throwing out 9-10 years worth of work files. Ah, padlocked blue security bin how I love thee!

Giddy from this bout of corporate cleansing, I have spent the first few days of my post retrenchment freedom ridding my humble abode of:

- old hard copies of script drafts

- notes pertaining to the above

- notepads full of notes pertaining to the above pertaining to the above that

- newspaper clippings that inspired notes pertaining to... [fill in the rest at your leisure]

- old scripts and manuscripts from people, some of whom I don't even know

- programmes for amateur and professional theatre some of which I didn't like

- material from writing seminars, lectures and courses most of which I can't remember

- generic old crap ie everything else

Thank goodness it was bin day Tuesday as this has consumed the equivalent of two green wheelie bins. Not blue, not padlocked, not destined for shredding... but still, um, lovable?

The flip side to this is finding little gems I forgot I had stashed away under three inches of dust - namely other people's scripts, some of which I do want to re-read (I say re-read as I'm sure I read them all the first time... didn't I?).

Perhaps more excitingly, some of my old scripts that might help chart my progress as a writer. You know the feeling - some of it's pretty good, some's goddamn awful, nice idea here, overwritten up the wazoo there... but what it does do is rekindle the passion and enthusiasm for visual storytelling.

It's spring - brave the dust, toss the junk, relive the tentative first steps into a brave new screenwriting world! Once you've done coughing your lungs up (okay, there was a LOT of dust) you can move on to bigger and better things refreshed... and with more elbow room and shelf space!

My own 'Up in the Air'

2010-08-26T18:47:00.002+08:00

No, nobody is ever going to mistake me for George Clooney - I am on the opposite side of the desk. Or if Anna Kendrick had her way, the computer terminal. Which is closer to what actually happened.

Tomorrow I come to the last day of my part-time job. Over twenty-one years with the same company over two stints and two cities. Tonight it all feels very surreal. Tomorrow, I clear out my desk, hand over my ID, access cards, all the work toys like mobile and laptop... and walk out the door for the final time. My safe little cocoon gone.

It's certainly a wake-up call.

And a great antidote for procrastination!

Conclusive evidence - polls suck!

2010-08-10T13:43:00.004+08:00

My carefully constructed poll of Baldrickian proportions has only ended up ensnaring me with a TIED result! Cobb simultaneously returned to reality AND the whole thing was a dream!

Thank you contributors to my Inception poll - I am NONE the wiser :-)

I'm emailing the creators of Lost for the tiebreaker...

Three Act Structure for Beginners

2010-08-09T20:21:00.008+08:00

Everybody else is having a go - laws, rules, theories, paradigms, tips, tweets and blogs relating to the craft of screenwriting - so I've jumped on the bandwagon!

Here now, my model for the aspiring screenwriter on how to understand and handle the three act structure:

Act 1 - Full of inspiration & energy

Congratulations! You've decided to write a feature script. Surely your ideas are better than that old tosh you saw at the megaplex the other night and/or your award winning short is wowing them on the festival circuit. Should be a snap to dash off your masterpiece. Inspiration - check; energy - check; self belief - off the charts.

Important things to remember:

Set-up: Have you got a really good laptop. I mean the sort that will draw envious glances from patrons of the upmarket cafe you intend to frequent? Screenwriting software - optional.

Character: Beret mandatory, scarf desirable, cocky attitude essential.

Theme: Does the screensaver of said laptop scream tortured artistic genius?

About halfway through the first act you should come to the Inciting Incident. This is usually where you tell your mum/partner/secret crush you are writing a feature script and she smothers you with (well deserved) praise.

This kicks you along to another important milestone --

The First Act Turning Point

This is often described as the page number past the length of your longest short film script. It signifies you have crossed the threshold into the special world of the feature script! Yes, it's really happening - you're writing a feature!

Act 2 - Wandering in the wilderness but still certain of success

Now you've crossed into this magical world you will discover vast tracts of barren pages waiting to be filled. This is where you need to be really carefully as a variety of archetypes lie in wait. Some of the common ones - procrastination, self-doubt, apathy, bewilderment and vacillation.

They will set increasingly difficult obstacles for you to traverse. Here you will come to embrace Allies such as caffeine, nicotine, red wine and, as you approach the midpoint of this desert, various illicit substances.

Be mindful though of shadow characters like Research that will appear to occupy you in useful activity but ultimately lead you away from your goal of adding tendrils of blackness to the whiteness of your life. Research has powerful vassals - Internet, Video store and X-Box whose siren calls may become irresistable. Stay alert!

Once you have navigated these treacherous parts the midpoint appears like an oasis. It is common at this time for your want to write a feature screenplay to be replaced by a need to --

- find gainful employment to pay the rent; or

- reintroduce yourself to loved ones; or

- start taking Vitamin D tablets.

It's all downhill from here - the slippery slide to death point and impending Second Act Turning Point. Everything turns to quicksand as you flail around desperately for character arcs, plot developments and heightened stakes. All seems lost - dreams of red carpet premieres. Imagined discussions on the chat show circuit. Yachts at Cannes. Big breasted starlets. Astronomical bank balances. All fading fast.

Never fear, such suffering is an essential part of the process. Wide-eyed and impotent in front of the keyboard at three in the morning, lost. Stakes are high. You really shouldn't have told your boss to [censored] during your First Act bliss. There's no turning back - you have to finish the damn thing!

Like a miracle, a helping hand will arrive to prod you into action and energise you for the final assault. Perhaps your mother/partner/secret crush will remind you of your undoubted potential for genius. Maybe one of your many allies finally kicks in before the paramedics arrive.

Act 3 - Mad Panic and dash to the finish

As the danger of mockery and being ostracised grows, you plunge head first into the final challenge where you ultimately overcome your flaw. Okay, maybe you did underestimate how hard this screenwriting lark was but damn it, you're determined to slay the dragon, sieze the sword and win the day.

Flush with new purpose you rise to the challenge and fingers fly over the keys. None of it makes any sense but that's not going to bother you until you get to peck out Fade to Black as you pass out unconscious on your laptop.

Well done. You have finished!

But WAIT... what's this nagging voice that whispers in your ear - "all writing is rewriting".

Bleary eyed you lift your head, untangle that tattered scarf and let out a feral bellow.

If you dare revisit the mess you have made, struggle to make it better, persist through every setback then you really will have crossed the threshold into a special world...that of being a screenwriter.

Inception Poll - The Aftermath

2010-08-02T17:44:00.005+08:00

The blog posting on my Inception experience was met with a passionate rebuttal by local Perth film-maker Aaron McCann who raised several interesting points.

After scouring the net for answers I'll go see the film again with fresh eyes but I thought Aaron had three plausible explanations for what the ending meant.

This can only mean one thing - poll time!

So here are his three options (the rest of his rebuttal censored due to the fragile state of my ego!):

a) Cobb doesn't escape from limbo... we don't see the kick so maybe the ending is all in his head. I mean that would suggest that the top keeps spinning long after the credits roll. I mean we didn't see what happened when he last spun the top...

b) Cobb has completed his mission. Saito kept to his word and Cobb has returned home (the kids at the end are played by actors that are 2 years older than the actors playing the kids at the end) this would suggest that after the cut to black... the top fell over and Cobb's back to reality, he dodges a bullet.

c) The whole thing start to finish is a dream. His wife died in Paris, he's flying to LA to “go home”... his reality does seem like a dream and is refereed to as such. None of the other characters on the plane talk to Cobb at the airport. Almost like they are all strangers who just all shared a 1st class flight with each other.

Which one of these options do you believe best fits your interpretation of the film... or doesn't it matter? Please use the poll on the top left of the blog...

One thing I can't argue with is Aaron's summation:

"Inception is in no way a 'perfect' film. It has flaws. But a classic film, loved or hated, it will become a film that could, and should, revive the spec scripting market in the US as well as sell the idea that big, original, large scale films... can still have an audience".

Amen to that.

Inception - Idea as Virus

2010-07-31T11:55:00.004+08:00

After Thursday morning's shock knocked me into my own dream state, I went along to see Inception.

Though I don't remember how I got there. The suspicion I was dreaming confirmed by this exchange immediately after purchasing my ticket:

Kid: Any drinks or popcorn with that?

Me: Medium combo, thanks.

Kid: Want to upgrade that for an extra dollar?

Me: Nah, I can't eat that much popcorn

Kid: I'll upgrade the drink for free then.

Okay, that's a dead giveaway! A partial free upgrade... at a candy bar... at the cinemas? Yeah, right! (ps well done kid, I was impressed). That and the fact the lobby was deserted (other than the two of us). Definitely dreaming.

Into the cinema I go. Now, I'm kind of fussy about where I like to sit - centre/centre - half way up and dead in the middle. The sweet spot...

Available! And the immediate zone free of seat kickers, inane talkers, mobile phone wankers & sundry other distractions that usually bug the hell out of me.

I am clearly in a deeper level of dreaming as the ads and trailers seem to go for like 30 minutes (surely ludicrous). I accept I'm probably still sitting at my desk at work, stunned and time has slowed here.

Then the movie starts. Excitement abounds. The internet chatter and reviews have been excellent. My mind, desperate for some serious diversion, is about to be dazzled...

But instead, something strange happens --

Someone's brought me down to this level of dreaming to insert the idea that this film is a complex mind-fuck of a masterpiece. And I'm not buying it.

On the surface it appears outrageously inventive, gloriously shot, well acted and demanding of my full attention to comprehend its secrets. But then it seems a simple heist story told in a very complicated way. And I simply don't care.

As the corporate induction video plays before my eyes explaining the rules of extraction and the theory of inception - with some practical exercises thrown in to demonstrate the principles - I start to wonder if I am being conned ala The Prestige.

Now, don't get me wrong, I think Christopher Nolan is an immense talent. I loved The Dark Knight (with a few quibbles), was astounded by Memento and think The Prestige is a handsomely crafted puzzle of a film... bar the ending. When I come to understand Nolan has pulled a magic trick on me... except the prestige doesn't have me on my feet applauding.

So now I'm thinking, this guy is smart and audacious, and he's trying to implant an idea in my mind with all these rules and pure exposition. Namely, that this is everything the hype says it is.

Why is my brain rejecting this carefully planned inception?

Well, I think it's because I don't really know who's doing what, why they are and what the actual stakes are. All I really know is that Cobb wants to go home and that Saito wants to fuck with his corporate rival. The latter feels like a pure McGuffin and therefore I am ambivalent about it. The Cobb-Mal thing seems underwhelming... he can't go back to the US because she killed herself but blamed him because... blah blah blah. I start having Shutter Island flashbacks.

As for everyone else - well, um, they are ... because they need to ... um? I dunno.

Then there's the whole mechanics of 'kicks' and sedatives and if you're killed you wake up, oh, except if you're [insert plot device explanation] in which case you go into 'limbo'. Which is a terrible, horrible, brain mulching place... that Cobb has been to before. Huh? So no real stakes then?

I have no idea what Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character was doing in zero-G other than he was doing "stuff". Related to some complicated timing issue re kicks? and gravity? No tension or suspense if it's not clear what his plan is. Just confusion.

The snow scenes - lots of people dressed the same shooting at each other. Okey-dokey. Then Cobb is back in limbo. Where we come to the ending... and the spinning totem... and the cut to black. Which only confirms that Nolan is fucking with me - was he still dreaming? You decide!

Sorry, No.

I can't be bothered because I don't care enough about the characters. Therefore I have no investment to work out the 'true meaning' of all the trickery no matter how apparently spectacular. I don't care about the internal logic and the kicks and the 'this and that' which has the internet groaning with theories and speculation.

I enjoyed the film as diverting entertainment that didn't treat me like a 12 year old. I didn't feel the running time so much which is a good sign. Most films these days being 20+ minutes over long. But the more I think about it, the idea that this is some modern masterpiece dissipates. Instead, a rogue idea - Nolan's 'puzzle films' make that other cinematic manipulator, M. Night Shyamalan's post The Sixth Sense films look amateurish.

So when I entered my own limbo - the queue at the IGA grocery store next door (surely limbo is waiting in a queue for the '12 items or less' checkout behind people who can't count) - I could feel the fingerprints of the master inceptor.

Perhaps I will watch it again when it comes out on DVD. Maybe I'll just sleep on it...

Dealing with Deadlines, Disappointments & Crises

2010-07-29T14:05:00.009+08:00

I never set out to write a blog that espoused the do's and don'ts of screenwriting theory and good writing. There are far better qualified people - John August, Scott Myers, Karel Segers for example - who do that brilliantly with great authenticity, wit and skill. What I AM qualified to discuss is my personal journey in the wonderful world of film from an Australian perspective...

... and I gotta tell ya, it's been a rough month for various reasons.

My feature script didn't make the quarterfinals of Scriptapalooza which was a disappointment and abrupt reality check. I entered it after a burst of positive feedback that I'm now thinking gave me a level of confidence that was artificially inflated --

Complacency being the death of a screenwriter.

But I have a new draft to deliver so try and put the disappointment to one side and soldier on.

At present I'm deconstructing the entire script as the general consensus appears to be - well written, too complex, not commercial. The problem with that is, pulling out threads tends to unravel the whole piece as most of you would know. The other problem is time - deadlines loom and the brief of 'simplification' is turning into a major rewrite.

I'm actually enjoying the process - I'm throwing around scenes (for example, a scene that was near the end of Act Two is now the midpoint) but I'm running out of hours. The added pressure is that I have a director and producers waiting on pages to finalise a funding submission. If that wasn't bad enough life has been intruding in various ways - namely health and, as of today, work.

The health scare was prompted by a visit to a GP who I think was channeling Peter Lorre. Not my regular doctor mind you. He had the indecency to go on leave.

Me: I have this discomfort in my chest (points to area over the heart)

Peter Lorre: *manic laughter* then - Have you come from the Emergency Ward?

Me: (pondering this rather strange reaction/question) - a hesitant 'No'

Peter Lorre: Rate the pain from one to ten...

Me: Well, I wouldn't call it pain, it's more --

Peter Lorre: [Insert very long lecture about going to emergency whenever you feel chest pain] The only words I hear are: Heart and Attack... in that order

Me: Say what?!

Peter Lorre: nearly falling off his chair in a frenzy when he discovers I have a family history in this regard. More lectures. FINALLY takes out his stethoscope and checks chest.

Suddenly, we're discussing inflamed cartilage and ribs.

Me: Huh?

Peter Lorre: Just to be sure, we need to do an ECG.

Me: Okey dokey... so, not a heart attack then?

Peter Lorre: Probably not... but I'd like to be sure.

Me: thinking, you and me both, buddy!

On return from ECG...

Peter Lorre: Your blood pressure is a little high, but that's probably because you're anxious.

Me: YA THINK?!

Then a battery of subsequent tests - blood, cholesterol, stress ... a heart ultrasound. To which everyone doesn't seem too concerned (except possibly my bank manager). Appears I strained cartilage somehow in an area inconveniently over my heart. Tell you what though, a bloody big wake-up call to lose weight, eat properly and exercise more.

Through this - still writing.

Then today. Get in a little late to work - to find out my boss in Sydney has scheduled a phone hookup with me. Hmmmm, we spoke only yesterday... but there's a big hookup for later in the day announcing an organisational restructure. Stomach churning, make the call...

To find out I have been made redundant.

Start wondering what Peter Lorre would make of outbreak of new physical symptoms --

Me: stunned

Boss: attempts at calming platitudes

Me: jaw on floor

Boss: ... paperwork... ring me any time... 2 weeks... HR...

Call suddenly over and I'm gasping for air like a goldfish whose fish tank has been teleported to another universe.

Goodbye part-time job, goodbye some 22 years with the same company in two stints (yes, literally half my life... to this point), goodbye financial security and comfort zone.

Didn't feel like writing today.

Went to see Inception instead. Suitably complex enough to distract my brain from a whole lot of nasty - what the fuck do I do now? - type questions.

Deadline perilously close. People waiting on me and the new draft. Must write.

In fact, I suspect disappearing into a world of my own creation - Inception style - might be the best remedy. That and this blog posting.

People say you should write every day. But damn if it ain't hard some times...

Betwixt & Between

2010-07-09T14:47:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's the weather. Record cold spell in Perth has frozen my brain.

Maybe it was a little health scare. Thanks, over anxious GP.

Maybe it's a feeling of restlessness. Patience not a virtue of mine.

But decisions need to be made.

New brief is to simplify the feature script. Well written but complex seems to be the common view.

I fear suggested changes remove the magic.

Mulling options. Headache results.

Deadline looms. So time to pick up the scalpel.

But my mind wanders to what's next.

Given that writing a feature script and committing to doing it well ie research, beat sheets, treatment, multiple drafts etc = realistically, a year's worth of work. Given that year will be 'on spec', it's a big decision what to choose next.

The 'knock' on me is my ideas are too complex. Various people nudging me towards high concept. At least they see the writing talent. However -

Producers after commercial product.

Director after a shooting schedule.

As for me - tired of being the bridesmaid - shortlisted but never the chocolates.

So, big ideas have to be shelved.

Trench - the psychological war/horror idea which I love = too big. Plus I haven't cracked the third act yet.

Considering revisiting old scripts and taking another swing. Somehow feels like a backwards step. Even though there are nice elements there.

The possibility of re-imagining an existing property has also been put on hold. Pity, as it was a fun idea.

Discussed options with my director last night before concert of Space Classics. We both love science fiction. Listening to John Williams' music a catalyst. But what are the odds in Australia?

Mulling a heist film idea. Simple and slick. Maybe.

The supernatural might have to be banished. And the fantastical. For a while at least.

I've actually enjoyed escaping the Goldman-esque pit and rejoining the world for a while. Quiz nights, long boozy lunches, plays, the concert and, shortly, a local film festival. But the pit beckons once more. As writers know, that means embracing a certain level of anti-social behaviour. The hours need to be found. To the exclusion of other things. Like people.

I fall into that category of screenwriters who procrastinate until the death knell. Then it's time to knuckle down. Probably not the best way but it's my way. LOVE being in the zone. Wish I could get there more easily. Fear + adrenaline = creativity. It's a strange equation.

Enjoyed today's script meeting. Then again it wasn't my script. A friend is adapting their own short story which I love. A wonderful two-hander - low budget, arthouse, dark and undoubtedly controversial. Will make a great film if we get the script right (think Notes on a Scandal). I also love that she trusts me to be de facto script editor if not, indeed, co-writer. Helping another writer realise their vision is very exciting. Let's call it good karma.

So restless and searching. Perhaps not a bad way for a screenwriter to be. The mind is ticking over. Waiting for the fingers to follow. Don't expect to wait too long.

Confused? Me too ...

2010-06-28T14:28:00.003+08:00

In my highly honed state of procrastination I've been reading blogs and tweets about the so-called "do's and don'ts of screenwriting" ... and following the advice to read lots of scripts. But guess what - there's a disconnect here somewhere. I was reading a script last night of a big budget film about to be released - an early draft I suspect as the trailer had scenes that only vaguely resemble what I read - and it's full of don'ts. WE see and WE hear. Slug lines that went from 'Dawn' to 'Morning' to 'Day'. Description of someone's brand and make of car whereas every other single car was just that - CAR. I've read other (produced) scripts with unfilmable character descriptions and emotions or thoughts, of specific music cues, of cut to's up the wazoo. Good scripts too ... for the most part.

You query this and the answer inevitably is - "don't try this at home kids, they're professionals". So what, they did everything textbook perfect until they got their big break THEN decided to be sloppy?

Or maybe they're good storytellers with a great premise and the (sometimes) fanatical commentary on format and 'rules' is missing that one very salient point - it's the execution of the story that is paramount.

Yes, I understand the vagaries of readers and things that may "pull them out of the story" and "you want to put your best foot forward". I just find it amusing is all that the reality of what gets 'through' these threshold guardians is sometimes very different.

Talk to me of structure and character, not so much the formating rules du jour.

Or am I wrong not to pay heed to the rules committee?

ps I'm not really procrastinating, more so thinking which, as many of you will know, is perhaps the hardest part of writing ("look mum, no hands!") ...

Real Australian Drama

2010-06-24T19:27:00.005+08:00

Often the knock on Australian films is they shy away from conflict and therefore true drama. You know the ones - a bunch of quirky characters in a desperate search for a story (and third act). What we saw last night and during today is drama at its finest. An incumbent Prime Minister ousted in a bloodless coup so swift, so brutal and so efficient as to put most Aussie movies to shame. Intrigue, machinations, raw emotion, political back-stabbing and history in the making. Some random thoughts:

How wonderful to see the robustness of a great democracy where this sort of leadership change involves only the rhetoric of violence (coup, plotters, back-stabbing etc) instead of actual violence.

The rise of social media in not only breaking but setting the agenda for events. Tweets (and reported text messages) by journalists and politicians seemed way ahead of the more traditional media outlets and fueled the speculation that led to a full blown leadership challenge.

The knock on effect as a diverse range of people started commenting on events during the day. People who have not previously exhibited any interest in domestic politics.

Lastly, unfortunately, the fixation on ephemera such as the colour of the incoming Prime Minister's hair, the fact she is unmarried. That she is an atheist. As if those are the most important qualities for a leader.

It has been a fascinating and exhilarating 24 hours. Now for the Third Act - the looming election. It promises to be a corker!

The Important Things

2010-06-17T23:01:00.003+08:00

Thoroughly enjoyed the cast and crew screening of Kanowna tonight. The film is great and everyone involved has done a fantastic job. But what struck me most was the family aspect of the night and how important that is. I arrived at the same time as Chris (the director-writer) and his family. While he went off to ensure everything was ready for the screening I accompanied his wife Michelle, mother and delightful 1 year old daughter Mathilda to the nearby fish pub. Mathilda wowed the crowd with impromptu dancing and peek-a-boo. The producer's father was at the cinema but I didn't realise this until later. One of the main actors was there with his wife and young daughter.

All the people who support and put up with the vagaries of those of us who pursue the artistic endeavour known as film-making. Who finally get to see the result of all the meetings and workshops and funding submissions and drafts and shoots and hours of editing and post production. Why it's so important to us. They understand, even if but a little, and forgive us the hours, the inevitable drama, the struggle. And most importantly keep on supporting us for the next time ... and the time after that if we're so lucky.

It's those small moments - the laughter of a 1 year old, the good natured ribbing by childhood friends, the proud smile of a loved one - that make it all worthwhile.

Only in Hollywood?

2010-06-16T23:19:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow night sees the cast and crew screening of the short film Kanowna. I'm very much looking forward to the screening but it brings back painful memories of the premiere I was denied.

Yes, I've read Goldman and currently re-reading Hollywood Animal by Joe Eszterhas so I have a fair idea of the torment screenwriters experience in the film-making capital of the world. But surely not in the idyllic little backwater of Perth?

Not so fast.

I wrote a short film script a few years ago. About 9 drafts over the better part of a year.

It was funded by the local state agency. To the tune of $60,000.

The week after that happy news the director turned in his draft.

The only similarity to my script - the one that had been funded ... the one I had spent hours of meetings and rewrites trying to glean the director's vision - was the first name of the protagonist.

The director refused to direct my script - the one that had been funded.

At a meeting in a crowded pub with the two leads, the male actor expressed reservations to me about his character's voiceover in the script ... that I did not write. The voiceover was about masturbation.

At subsequent meetings with the director and script editor (assigned by the funding agency) it was clear this was all going to end in tears. I think I said as much. The producer asked me not to go to any more meetings.

The producer and director had previously worked together on commercials for a television network. The producer had approached me to write the script because she wanted the director to concentrate on directing.

The script grew out of a workshop scene the director had conceived. In hindsight, my first mistake as the short was based on a moment between two characters not an organic story. I tried to capture the spirit of that moment as I couldn't make it fly in a larger narrative no matter what I desperately conjured.

I think I wrote a bloody good script. It was funded. It was never made.

Even the title was changed.

I was paid in full from the budgeted writer's fee ... out of the $60,000 my work had garnered.

I declined a screenwriting credit. I, in all good conscience, whether the final film was good or bad, could not accept a credit for something I did not write. The character's first name wasn't even my idea.

It took the better part of a year and threats by the state agency to pull the funding before the director made his film from a script they finally accepted. That wasn't the one that had been funded.

I was invited to the premiere.

The director gave a nice speech at the start. He didn't even mention me.

The producer did for which I was grateful.

I hated the movie because he tried to make that moment work and it made no sense.

I am probably biased.

I had a "Thanks to" credit at the end of the film. After 9 drafts, one year, and a successful funding application and interview.

I am really happy for Chris and Michael that they will get to see their film on the big screen tomorrow night. The way they conceived and made it.

I wish I'd had that moment.

This little script went to market

2010-06-13T19:37:00.005+08:00

Interesting script meeting on the weekend. The latest draft had been delivered after the 8 week online rewrite course with very good notes from the US instructor. Feedback closer to home raised the issue of marketing. It is a complex story with a female protagonist and a Chinese based mythology that informs the supernatural aspects. A tough sell in the Australian marketplace? Perhaps. Are all the elements there for a commercial film? I would have thought so. Are we targeting the right marketplace? Not so sure.

What I do know is that I've had nowhere near enough detailed feedback yet before even contemplating making changes to the script. So now I wait on notes from the producers, director and selected readers.

What made the meeting interesting was that the discussion was around potential script changes based purely on marketing issues. Perhaps a little late in the process but valid nevertheless. The decision I will have to make, depending on the consensus, is how much to change especially if asked to "dumb down" certainly elements. Marketing versus integrity of the story.

Could be an interesting battle...

Just the script, write?

2010-06-05T11:18:00.003+08:00

In the pleasant fog of my creative youth (aka when I didn't know squat about anything), I thought you wrote a script, you sold a script, you kicked back, did the chat show circuit (okay, it was a particularly thick fog) and famous people (aka people you read about in the news) would come flocking for your next creative masterpiece, cheque books in hand.

I kind of have the gist of point 1.

Letterman still hasn't called.

The Gulfstream still hasn't arrived.

Oh, yeah, and that bank balance thing ... ahem.

What I discovered is that there are several sub clauses to point 1 - the writing of the script.

My feature "The Red Bride" which is now is some sort of reasonable shape has the following material associated to the script:

*Logline

*Three line logline (yeah, I don't what that is either)

*One page synopsis

Beat sheet

Scene Breakdown

40 page treatment

Character breakdowns/back stories

*Writer's notes

and, of course, several drafts of the script.

The ones I have asterisked are usually required in various combinations for funding applications in this country. Sometimes ALL of them. The sneaking suspicion is that one line, three line and one page descriptions are an elaborate ruse to avoid reading the script!

My favourite is the writer's notes. "Tell us, Richard, all the things you forgot to fix in this draft that if you'd actually known were an issue you would have fixed ... in, um, this draft".

You end up inventing problems just to fill out a page which, for mine, is counter-productive. I would much rather have constructive notes from objective readers that I can assess and use. Truth is, after intensive work on the script, when I'm done I can't see it, have to put it down, have to let it go a while. In that state I'm probably the last person who can offer informed opinion!

The recent online course reinforced the usefulness of the beat sheet as a tool in rewriting. First task was to update the original beat sheet with all the changes that had taken place over subsequent drafts. Made identifying potential structural land mines that much easier.

Treatments, as I understand it, are a requirement for any paid gig in the US. I wrote one for The Red Bride (then known as Seventh Moon) as: I was adapting another writer's short feature (about 50 pages) to feature length; and to demonstrate to the in situ producing team and director that I had a clear vision for the project. In fact, there's two entirely separate versions after the director and I went walkabout for a year on a creative tangent that radically changed the story. Funny how things come full circle.

The problem with all this, of course, is unlike our US brethren, Aussie writers are not likely to get paid for writing these "short form" documents. I doubt I would write a treatment again unless I was paid, preferring beat sheets and even a scene breakdown in order to clarify my attack on the story before getting to scripted pages.

But is has opened my eyes to the plethora of 'tools' available and that writing a script comes with several 'optional extras' and the mandatory material for funding agencies. One day I'll have to compare word count from script to supporting documents. I think the ratio might surprise!

Lost, BSG & TV mythology

2010-05-24T16:38:00.023+08:00

Interesting reading the reaction to the Lost series finale today. Don't worry, no spoilers are to be found here! I gave up on Lost during the second episode of season one - the flashback structure had me running for the hills. Since then there have been, as I understand it, not only flashbacks but flash forwards and even something called "flash sideways". My concern, even back then, was that the fractured timeline storytelling was a technique to stall progress in answering the main question that was posed from the get go - what is the island?

For those who stuck with it, answers were slow in coming as the show mythology became even more intricate and obtuse. Expectations appear to have been enormous for season 6 and the finale to answer all mysteries and outstanding issues that have been debated incessantly by fans. Except by this stage that was literally an impossibility.

I went through this with Ronald D. Moore's re-imagined Battlestar Galactica. Another show with a dense mythology that ran amok and seemed to get away from the writers - The Final Five, The Fifth Cylon, the nature of Starbuck etc etc. I for one, to this day, point blank refuse to believe Saul Tigh is a Cylon.

The episode "No Exit" in the final season was wall to wall exposition of the worst kind as it tried to retrofit an explanation for all the unanswered questions around the mythology. Moore pulled off a nice save with the series finale but the similarity to statements made by the Lost producers is very instructive. In essence - 'it's all about the characters, stupid!'

To me that's code for, 'yeah, I don't know the answers either'. And that's the danger of writing intricately plotted stories with elaborate mythologies where you fly by the seat of your pants. Is it really the characters or the plot that keeps the viewers coming back in these sorts of shows? Reading the Lost boards and blogs, people appear to agree the emotional side of the finale was powerful but that this masked shortcomings in the intellectual side ie character over plot. But people seem more preoccupied with wanting to know the answers to riddles and clues they have invested much time and energy trying to decipher. To me, you flirt with danger if you disregard the audience's visceral response to the devices and teasers you knowingly deploy.

So the question is, as a writer, do you deliberately create a dense and overtly mysterious mythology where you know you may never be able to answer all the questions you pose; or do you have some responsibility to your audience to have plausible and consistent explanations for the worlds you invent? Or does service to character trump everything regardless?

I know the Lost finale doesn't air until Wednesday in Australia but I suspect many diehard fans will see it well before then. If so, what did you think - were you satisfied with how the show ended or do major questions linger?

Reprise

2010-05-17T16:31:00.011+08:00

I see that SF series V has disappeared to the 10.30pm Sunday timeslot. I may have been a couple of weeks out but this was totally predictable. Science Fiction and prime time on Australian TV do not mix.

I have dropped Underbelly 3 after giving up in the final half hour of the double episode last week. There's only so much slow motion wankery I can take on a Sunday night (I could have put Chariots of Fire on a loop for a week and it wouldn't have come close!). I was screaming at the television because this could be really good Aussie drama but the amount of pointless scenes and sheer gimmickry make it unwatchable. It's a shame because the ABC documentary during the week, The Inquisition, really whetted my appetite with actual surveillance footage of Trevor Haken and Chook Fowler. Yet the dramatisation makes everyone out to be cartoon characters.

Thank you to everybody behind Beneath Hill 60 for not only making me eager to see an Australian movie again but delivering on the promise of a good yarn in spades. Well done!

Dear Funding Body

2010-05-17T16:06:00.002+08:00

Dear [insert name of funding body here]

Re: Your Rejection Letter

I am writing to inform you of the outcome of your rejection letter.

Unfortunately, in this instance, it was deemed to be unacceptable.

I have received a large number of quality rejection letters vying for my personal humiliation, and with limited ego available for shredding I must assess all rejections competitively.

I therefore regret that I am unable to assist you at this time.

Yours sincerely,

A nameless, faceless, unfunded screenwriter

Collective promotion

2010-05-16T15:12:00.003+08:00

This looks to be an interesting venture - 12 actors joining forces to promote themselves locally but with international ambitions. I know one of the actors personally, a few by name only, but you have to admire their gumption. The website looks pretty good and I like the mission ("To create opportunities for Western Australian based-actors to hone their craft and showcase their individual talents within Australia, and abroad") and Aim "to develop and draw upon local talent wherever possible, and to lead by example in all aspects of being an actor in a truthful and honest manner." It will be interesting to see what the result is.

Can you imagine a group of screenwriters doing this? I mean, why not? Apart from our notoriously insular nature, would there be benefits to be gained by joint promotion? I am always looking for like minded writers (storytelling style and genres) and/or people who can stretch me but it's not such an easy task. Some writers still seem scared that people will steal their ideas (puhlease), or aren't confident enough to share their work, or have other agendas I don't really care to understand. Sure, there's the Writers' Guild and the occasional writers support group but we don't seem to really have a sense of community. Leastways not in Perth.

One of the joys of the online course, is that I have a detailed appreciation of two other local writers' scripts. One is a close cousin of mine, the other a completely different genre. As we rewrite and develop our projects there is continuous feedback and insight. Hopefully that will continue after the course finishes. But ultimately, I guess, we go our separate ways to get our scripts financed and made. So good luck to Scene Actors 12 - who knows, maybe some or all of them will end up in a script written by yours truly!

The simple things

2010-05-10T20:27:00.005+08:00

A couple of exercises out of the rewrite course made me think about the things you try to improve individual scenes. Sometimes it ain't rocket science. The 'homework' in question was to take a descriptive heavy scene and turn it into a dialogue heavy one; the other, to convert a dialogue scene into a descriptive one.

The former, I chose a single character scene where the protagonist searches through her mother's old belongings and makes a surprise discovery. To add dialogue I had to introduce another character (a soliloquy didn't seem appropriate!) but there is already an 'unseen character' - the long dead mother. So in the reworked scene there's a beat between father and daughter as they vocalise their loss. Somewhat oblique so as not to be 'on the nose', it added a nice element and some foreshadowing for later.

The latter was literally a scene between two people who can't talk to each other. Taking out the confrontational dialogue and letting the actors convey the characters' frustrations and anger worked perhaps even better. The reworked scene felt a little flat energy wise though so I upped the ante with some physicality which I thought might be a touch melodramatic. But to my surprise when I shared the scenes with my director he liked this one best. He then said he finds melodramatic dialogue more problematic. Amen.

Another exercise was to take a description heavy scene and cut it in half and it's amazing the clarity you can obtain when forced to do such 'drastic' editing. In fact, our instructor believes every scene, sequence and script can be trimmed by ten percent. It's all about being ruthless and cutting to the essence of the scene.

Other things I've been known to try include re-assigning lines of dialogue between characters which can change the thrust of the scene in unexpected ways. Then, of course, there's the swapping of gender, perhaps the most notable in film history being Ellen Ripley from the Alien movies who was originally written as a male character. This can add whole new layers to a scene, or in that case, an entire franchise.

The point of the exercises is not being afraid to try different things to make a scene better ... and have some fun with it. A different approach may yield a surprising result. And I for one, love surprises!

They're only words ... right?

2010-05-06T13:32:00.012+08:00

The big "furore" this week is the sacking of Catherine Deveny as a columnist for a major newspaper for offensive tweets regarding the Logies. The most egregious of these being:

Rove and Tasma look so cute! I hope she doesn't die too #logies

I so do hope Bindi Irwin gets laid #logies

This Deveny character (who I hadn't heard of before today) is supposedly a comedian renowned for being vitriolic and "edgy". So why the controversy?

Rove's first wife, Belinda Emmett, died of breast cancer. So tweet #1 is pretty high on the tacky and tasteless meter.

Bindi Irwin, daughter of Steve Irwin, is eleven years old. That's right, ELEVEN. That makes tweet #2 outright sick.

Now, you won't get an argument from me that the Logies are a joke, not only as an Awards show, but as a supposed celebration of television excellence in this country. This year's Gold Logie winner is still being carbon dated.

The response to Deveny's sacking, however, is interesting. It appears said sacking has nothing to do with her lack of commonsense, judgment or simple decency:

The Logies took place on Sunday night but the newspaper in question, The Age, "only" sacked her on the Tuesday after a public outcry. Apparently this points to some terrible conspiracy as obviously the paper was only swayed by popular opinion. How dare they!

People have defended her right to tweet whatever she wants. Ah sorry, no, that's not how it works. Using social media, indeed any form of 'speech' has responsibilities entwined with the freedoms.

Deveny claims Twitter is the equivalent of "passing notes in class". Others have commented that people wouldn't have been able to read her tweets if they weren't following her (and by following her I assume this means you know she's prone to objectionable gaffes). Well, I would buy that except for the fact she was tacking #logies on the end of her tweets which means anyone following that topic would have been able to read her posts, something she would have been well aware of and, dare I say it, courting.

And now, today, on her Twitter feed, this:

Other people chose to reproduce those two tweets outside of twitter. They created the media storm.

Um, HELLO, how about you take responsibility for the fact that you glibly tweeted offensive dreck and have been called on it!

Words are powerful - they can inspire, incite, motivate, enrage, educate and entertain. As writers we should and must take full responsibility for what we write. Wherever we write it. Just because it's 140 characters on Twitter doesn't magically absolve us of our responsibilities, not as writers, not as decent human beings. How anyone could think the Bindi Irwin tweet, in particular, could be construed as funny or 'satire' is beyond me.

Many companies are now introducing Social media policies that govern how and what their employees post on sites like Twitter. Saying it is only personal when your name, certainly in this instance, is tied to a corporate brand is naive at best, disingenuous at worst.

Words are powerful. Take responsibility for them. Use them wisely.

It's a trap!

2010-04-19T13:32:00.004+08:00

Interesting article from The Artful Writer blog here about writing versus, well, what I would call procrastination. Excerpt below:

So here’s the deal. Are you a real, consistent, steadily-employed professional screenwriter? You are? Good. Enjoy. Use the internet as you wish.

Are you an aspiring screenwriter who is completing drafts, getting your work out there, hustling for gigs and trying to perfect your craft? Good. Enjoy. Use the internet as you wish.

Are you a wannabe who is spending more time arguing, posing and socializing on the internet than you are actually writing?

It’s a trap. Retreat.

It's a valid point!

Epiphany

2010-04-17T16:47:00.004+08:00

Second session of the rewrite course and it is proving to be a revelation. We agreed at the first session not to discuss each other's projects outside of the course so all I'll say is it's a good group and a diverse set of stories. The instructor, Paul Chitlik, is excellent and there is a clarity that, from my experience, is rare and much appreciated.

He's right - there are lots of books, gurus, theories, 'rules' and other paraphernalia about screenwriting, yet the old adage is, writing is all about rewriting. So what do you do when you've finished that first draft? Well, you read Paul's book!

Now, I normally have an aversion to screenwriting "manuals", preferring hands on workshops and courses. But Rewrite is so clearly set out with plenty of examples and exercises that I found it easy to read and, more importantly, understand from a practical perspective.

The course follows the guidelines in the book - Paul doesn't claim to espouse rules and laws - with the opportunity for almost forensic examination of each week's "homework". It's this attention to detail by breaking the script up into its component parts and analysing what's working or not that is absolutely invaluable. For example, from me doing a new beat sheet of the existing draft, Paul was able to pinpoint that the First Act is a little out of balance. Next lot of homework is to rewrite the first 15-25 pages based on today's notes.

I suspect we will be rewriting our entire scripts over the remaining 6 weeks paying attention to Paul's 7 story points and guidelines. What a great way to do a rewrite - clear, concise & supportive feedback. That's not to say there isn't a lot of heavy lifting to be done - I need to think about how to rectify the imbalance and rewrite the opening sequence. But that's the joy of doing a course like this - being challenged to make the script better by utilising such expertise.

What it makes me wonder though is this ... I know Perth may be but a small village in the global film-making community but why has it taken so long to find such shining nuggets of wisdom? I feel like I have been wandering through the wilderness all this time ... thankfully no more!

The Flabby Underbelly

2010-04-14T13:53:00.005+08:00

I caught up with the two hour season premier of Underbelly 3 with Tuesday’s “encore screening”. I’ve never really been a fan of the show and the season 3 opener reinforces all the things I dislike. Somewhere there’s an enthralling drama but so many lazy devices and contrivances are deployed that they simply drown out the story. I find this instructive as a writer as there are clear, recurring choices that, for me, seriously detract from the potential drama. Underbelly 3 literally threw the kitchen sink at the audience in this regard. Let’s have a look at them:

1) The expository voice-over narrative is so totally over-the-top and redundant as a device that it immediately takes me out of the story. The old adage “show don’t tell” seems lost on the Underbelly writers. A barrage of information and on-the-nose observations that have always made me question how confident the writers are with the material. Even worse, the voiceover is from a character who, as far as I understand it, was only relevant to Series One. Even then it was a strange choice for a secondary character to be commenting on events, even more bizarre in the later series.

2) The use of music has always been problematic. It literally leaches away moments of legitimate drama by pumping out tracks that make this seem more like a music video than a supposedly, true crime story. It also takes away my emotional response to what’s going on. I remember in Series One, the vicious attack in the sports bar with pool cues that should have been shocking but instead, due to ham-fisted use of music, seemed more like it was a game. If the makers don’t care, why should I? It was also coupled with the other device that drives me nuts, being …

3) The over-use of slow motion. I don’t know why they keep dipping into this well, except again as a sign of a lack of confidence with the inherent drama. It’s a clunky device that takes me straight out of story as style appears more important than substance. This is linked to another favourite device …

4) The montage. The opening of Underbelly 3 had so many montages (with all the other tricks being deployed) that I was kept at a distance from the characters and story. Surely we can get a flavour of Kings Cross and its denizens without the frenetic and haphazard introduction of so many characters in as condensed a time frame as possible. Even worse was that this device was accompanied with …

5) The use of “Lock, Stock …” style name cards for not only main characters but extraneous ones as well. Another clear stylistic choice that was intended to be hip and trendy but felt tired and just a case of overkill.

As mentioned, there were sequences where ALL of these devices were being deployed at the same time. What hope does the drama have? It was literally floundering in the heavy seas of exposition and directorial/editing wankery that the team from Bondi Rescue would struggle to save this brave soul.

By comparison, I have recently revisited Season One of The Wire where the multi-layered, complex storylines and characters are allowed to breathe and astonish with none of the above devices. As a result the mastery of the world by the writers is crystal clear.

Underbelly 3, as a commercial entity, will never rival The Wire for storytelling chops and nor should it, but I could expect and hope for more substance and less flash. Currently it takes what could be a good premise and smothers it to death with gimmicks and devices that are anathema to good drama. It’s an important lesson for any writer.

Emergence

2010-04-09T17:54:00.004+08:00

Australia's great war-time Prime Minister, John Curtin, controversially uttered the following words in 1941 that set the course for this nation to the present day:

Without any inhibitions of any kind, I make it clear that Australia looks to America, free of any pangs as to our traditional links or kinship with the United Kingdom.

What reminded me of this rare example of Australian oratory is my impending participation in a screenwriting course with an American instructor. And damn it, I'm excited!

What John Curtin would make of a course conducted over two continents using Skype is anyone's guess but let me reiterate my position by mangling the former PM's words:

Without any inhibitions of any kind, I make it clear that I look to America, free of any pangs as to traditional notions of Australian storytelling paradigms or so-called cultural imperatives.

I've never understood what "telling Australian stories" actually means other than I am an Australian writer and this might influence how I see the world. It certainly has never meant, to me, what I suspect that phrase is code for ... "Hollywood bad". Sure, America makes some dreadful movies ... they also, when they get it right, make superlative films, the best in the world.

So I look forward to having my humble efforts pulled apart and examined and challenged and reconstructed by what I consider world's best practice.

Like in Curtin's time that might be a controversial position to take - though there are signs that the inward looking cinema of urban suffering and outback cliche is waning - but it's one that will set my future course as well, critics be damned!

Isolation in Writing

2010-03-31T14:46:00.005+08:00

Welcome to Perth, the capital of sunny Western Australia. We're brought up with the knowledge that ours is the most isolated capital city in the world. It's cheaper and easier to get to Bali, Indonesia than it is to travel to Sydney.

But that's not the kind of isolation I'm talking about.

Nor is the isolation all writers are familiar with - the solitary duty in their Goldman-esque pit creating magic for the screen, big or small.

No, this is more a sense of belonging that I'm yearning for ... and the realisation that maybe I'm never going to find it in our sleepy little part of the film-making world. Perth is perhaps best known for documentaries and children's television with the occasional low budget feature. And by low budget I mean 1-2 million dollars. There also appears to be a noisy and thriving no-budget scene happening ... and maybe that's my problem. Everything feels so ... small ... and slapdash ... and sometimes downright amateurish.

I guess I applaud the effort, it just feels somehow so ... ill-directed. And the thing that seems to suffer most in this rush to get anything "in the can" is the script. Lots of "director-writers" where the second part of the hyphenate is a dubious assertion at best. Of course, there are exceptions but they are rare.

There is also an angry, restless energy to these generally younger film-makers that I find quite negative and often naive. Many a strident argument has recently broken out in various social media formats about the industry and that hoary old chestnut of art versus business. In response, I have started to withdraw from the local 'scene' and eliminate those voices that distract and detract from what I want to focus on. That's where the isolation comes in.

I'm looking for people who can help me be a better screenwriter. The reality is, there are precious few people in my hometown who can do that. My writing sensibility is not an Australian archetype but far more geared towards the classic Hollywood storytelling model. Hence my increasing interest in US blogs/podcasts and excitement at the upcoming course with Paul Chitlik (whose book I will read over the Easter break). Added to this is the presence of a couple of 'newcomers' to the Perth scene with US experience who I "get" when we talk about film and screenwriting.

The question ultimately will be, can I survive and thrive in this sort of isolation or will I need to find a better writing environment? I enjoy the collaborative side of brainstorming and story sessions but there's really only a few people here who understand (and appreciate?) me as a writer. Will that be enough? I have resisted joining the populist network that's been set up for all local film-makers as it appears more social than professional but a strong support network is important for any writer.

Perhaps I need to delve back into my pit and not worry about such things ... maybe I need to cherish and be thankful for the small band of people whose opinions and talent I respect without craving more. Perhaps being an 'outsider' is not such a bad thing. I guess only time will tell ...

A surprising development

2010-03-28T13:30:00.002+08:00

Today there was an informal breakfast meeting of the Forgeworks cohort. I'm sure there's a witty anecdote about the way people order theirs eggs being an insight into their ... something or other ... but we'll leave that for future discussion. A debrief on the development workshop was handled with aplomb, discussions on the script with Worcestershire sauce ... and the eggs weren't runny at all. So all was good.

Then we discussed 'what's next' while The Red Bride script goes through its development track ... and it appears the 'next' is a low budget horror film! As in $1 million budget, straight genre and, as everyone seems to be reminding me lately, SIMPLE. Not only that, we went back to the director, Chris', original idea for Trench before I turned it into a "hundred million dollar studio film". Only a couple of zeros lopped off the budget, no problem!

A little spitballin' over bacon and coffee later and the period elements had vanished leaving a contemporary setting for a straight genre monster film. Now that's NOT what I expected to come out of today's meeting ... but could be fun.

With the advice that you can only have TWO of the following three elements being complicated in your script - character, story, plot - I shall turn off my memorial Ronald D. Moore complication antenna and get to thinking about a clever (but not TOO clever) Australian monster movie idea (... that isn't Razorback ... or involve Barry Humphries in drag ... or killer kangaroos in the outback ... or ...)

See you in the trenches!

Writer as acting coach

2010-03-23T23:00:00.007+08:00

I had an interesting catch up with an actor friend today. Said actor sprung a 3 page scene from an original play (oddly it was in script not play format) for an audition she has later in the week. I didn't think it was particularly well written and I couldn't get a sense of tone - the dialogue was arch and melodramatic so I thought maybe it was meant to be satirical. But I was assured it was a drama and the page count was in the 50s ... so well into the story.

My friend then asked me how I thought she might play the scene. There was no clear action change for her character and the obvious choice was to veer towards melodrama. But that seemed easy and kind of boring. So we went through and manufactured where an action change might be, how lines might be delivered and where the balance of power shifts in the scene.

I think in terms of screen not stage so my choices were based more on a visual sense but we muddled through a passable take on the scene with strong choices that would hopefully differentiate my friend in the casting process. Funnily enough, I'd never really been asked to do that before for something I hadn't written. It was enjoyable but now I fear my advice may hinder not enhance my friend's prospects!

I do admire actors though - to have to make the most of a scene out of context with no real idea of tone especially in a piece that isn't well written must be so nerve wracking. Nearly as nerve wracking as a writer being asked advice on acting!

The TV Writer and Australian Feature Films

2010-03-23T22:21:00.006+08:00

This is an excellent post from Karel Segers on his website The Story Department. In it, he discusses the negative impact of TV writers and the aversion to classic 3 act structure in Australian feature scripts:

"In Australia, however, we continue to be different. And teachers at most major schools make sure students are groomed to dislike what they call ‘Hollywood story structure’. I find it baffling that I get alumni from those rather expensive schools in my one-day courses who admit they were never properly taught the basics."

Karel's conclusion - "The Australian Film Industry has been completely f***ed over by people who have been conditioned by the rules of 0ld school television drama: Teachers, Government Agents and Script Editors."

I have taken courses by people who are predominantly television writers. In fact, I'm sure I know who he talks about in reference to the AFTRS online feature film writing course. I did a weekend workshop with that person a couple of years ago - we argued. But then I've never understood the aversion to the "Hollywood 3 act structure". In fact, I delighted in Simon van der Borgh and Jonathon Rawlinson's exploration of classic storytelling structure in a recent development workshop (more please!).

Karel is seeking comments and proposed solutions so check out the blog post and add your thoughts. Do you agree that a preponderance of television writers have negatively impacted the feature film industry? Have you had an experience with a script editor who took your project down the wrong path? What is the solution ...?